Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Car update

So the car is still not mine yet. I guess tomorrow the title comes into the local bank and we can go pick it up then. I'm going to test drive the car tonight again. I'm having second thoughts because there was a jerky feeling we got when my parents test drove it it while we turned around and only accelerated very little. That is definitely not something that I would put up with and is absolutely a deal breaker. Not to be a bitch but I dealt with it in my parents car and I'm not going to suffer with it in my car!

I have to stop by the DMV office tomorrow morning and make sure that the car will not have to have a current emission because he registered the car last night and said the car was emission exempt for the last next two years so I have to confirm that. I want all the paperwork ready to go.

Patrick fucking stinks today. What really sucks is just yesterday our owner came in and dropped off airfreshners and I said oh all three are going in Patrick's room but GOD I seriously should have done it because I can smell him out here and I have TWO of the airfreshners near me. EW!

Yesterday went by so fast and it was awesome. I hope the rest of the week maintains the speed.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

New Car!!!

I will soon be purchasing a 2003 Mazda 6s. It has a v6 engine, leather heated seats, a 6 cd changer, sunroof, heated mirrors, ETC ETC ETC. It's so nice. It only has around 57k miles too. I'm really really excited and already dying for it to be in my possession so I could be driving it around on this amazingly 75-80 degree weather we are having today however we are waiting on the title and everything else to come through. I think by Wednesday I will have the car. Hopefully by the end of the week I will have it registered and insured and everything good to go! It's a gun metal gray.

It's definitely going to be a much appreciated and VERY WELL TAKEN CARE OF upgrade from my deathbot, however I will definitely miss her. I get attached to things that I am very dependent on in my life, don't even lie you do it too. I'm really hoping that everything turns out as great as I think it's going to. My dad is upset at me cuz he thinks I spent too much then what he thought the car was worth, however I paid the high end value for what the insurance company would give me if the car was totaled on the day that I got it. I think the car is in such pristine condition that I'm not upset that I spent a little more than what I would have liked to. If something goes wrong, which I'm really praying that it won't, then I will definitely eat my words.

So congratulations to me!!! [=

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Commitment Phobia

I realize today how very seriously bad my commitment phobia is. I am essentially having mini panic attacks before anything has even happened. My parents were pressuring me to not accept the loan Mark is offering me to buy a car because they do not want to see our relationship ruined because of it. i totally agree and definitely think it's a risk, however we have agreed (as a result of today) to set up a minimum monthly payment, no maximum, and no set date of when all the money has to be paid back by. I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED to say "I will be able to pay you back by such and such date" because I am so a "what-if" person, for example, what if I got fired or laid off or was forced to quit my job and am out of work for a certain amount of time? ETC ETC ETC. . .every possible scenario that you can think of I will come up with to say "No, I can not commit to a date." I feel really truly terrible about it, because I want to feel comfortable with being able to commit to stuff like a rent payment, an insurance payment, loan payments ETC ETC ETC. You would seriously think that I am the biggest penny pincher that you've ever met that was NOT RAISED DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION, no joke. I do not necessarily believe that there's much else that I can do to help this problem of mine. I have been watching my bank account and doing my expense reports pretty religiously and although that has helped I do not really know what else would.

I'm so fucking scared to graduate because I am realizing how much money I'm going to be forking out on my own. After looking at my bank account and talking to my mom today I realized that the offer that Shane has made me at $1,000 a month with 26,000 yr salary does not work out. If he is offering $26k a year then the net income would be approximately $1660 a month. After doing some possible expense reports that I would be looking at with a new car, rent, insurance for both health and car, and more what he has offered salary is not something that I could live off of. Although he has offered a second position with a commission income plus the salary position I WILL NOT RELY ON COMMISSION to ensure that I can pay my bills on a month to month basis. I am still job searching and applying and hopefully I find something that pays at least 15 an hour, however I do plan on talking to Shane again and getting final numbers on what he thinks he can offer me, I will tell him look this is the costs that I am looking at and what your offering I can't afford so unfortunately unless i can get a base salary of at least 30k a yr I can not work for him, because I can't rely on the commission. The commission is something that I would love to just throw all into savings.

I was thinking of putting off buying a new car until I graduated but I think that something that would be good and helpful for myself and this commitment phobia is to take on each new expense one at a time and spaced a little bit apart. Mark and I went car shopping this weekend just to get an idea of what type of cars are out there. Just so you know, because of that cash for clunkers, there is slim pickings! I did find a 2003 Mazda 6 with 92k miles, more than what I wanted, that I fell in love with. There are some issues with it like it needs a new windshield and two new front tires, however the manager who came to talk about it offered to throw those in. It also had an issue with the display screen and a storage compartment which they said they would look into. They offered me 10,3 at the store but I found that exact car online for 8,8 and some other same cars, comparable milage and cheaper. I am going to look at the car Monday with my Dad and probably Mark and maybe a make decision. If we do decide that it's something that I should get than I will offer no more than 8,5 for it with all included. I am planning on starting the offer at 7,5. My insurance on it is going to be quite expensive right off the bat however that's my fault! I have two tickets and now an accident so I have to suffer the consequences of those stupid mistakes. Hopefully I can find an insurance company that will adjust as I demonstrate that I am a good, safe, reliable driver. The next expense that I would take on is to be determined. It depends on what job I take, if it offers health insurance, if I have to move out, etc etc. Step by step, day by day.

A lot of bad stuff has happened to me this year, but in about a month I'm graduating college! I finished on time and actually early compared to the amount of time other students are taking. I'm truly proud of myself and I have a lot of shit ahead but I'm learning not to be afraid of pain and bad luck.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Second Session of the Study

It's going fantastic! We have been having problems with our sign up system but everything has gone pretty smoothly for me. I think only one or two of my participants haven't shown up. After today I should have around 20 or so participants which is awesome! Only forty more to go. I have one whole day where only one participant has signed up so far but once the date gets closer I'm sure more will sign up. I have another session next week with a lot of people signed up so hopefully nothing bad happens and all runs smoothly again and everyone shows up. If I keep this rate up then I won't have to worry about taking another day off of work or having to freak out about not having enough participants.

I'm not feeling well today though. Last night while showering I nearly passed out. I felt like I was going to black out, I was really weak and shaky, I felt really sick to my stomach and dizzy, and I was so white I was practically see through. Today, I've had a pounding headache that started throughout my whole head and has no settled in just the left side of my head. I'm a little concerned because this has never happened but I'm sure it's nothing.

Have a good day! I need a fucking vacation.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Work is a fucking MESS!

Today has been a disaster in the office. Jason, Tag, and I are so fed up with Patrick. We ALL want him FIRED. He is disrespectful, he is lazy, he does not care, he drops the ball on a lot of shit, especially with customers and scheduling and more. He is just not a good team player and we no longer want him apart of the company. Shane, the owner, needs to grow some balls, quit crying about employee loyalty, and fire his ass. We have employees calling off on a day to day basis and yet they're still on the schedule, we have employees that can't get to work on time and they can't call in on time, employees are lying about being on site when they aren't. . .omg it's such a fucking mess. Shane needs to hire his own personal assistant that can be his bitch and do whatever the fuck he wants them to do so that we do not have to run around like chickens with our heads cut off because of his demands. Today, I was asked to go and pick up a guy who dropped of Shane's car to him so that I can bring him back to the office to get his car. Patrick, who could have brought him up to the office because they were in the same area, was apparently not able to do this. My car is not in good shape. Yes it runs and drives and I can get places in it but I DO NOT DRIVE IT ANYMORE THAN I HAVE TO. I have to stare at the street for potholes and bumps. The area he had me driving into - omg the streets are so fucking horrible. When he asked I hesitated and then agreed to doing it but now my right front tire has a big ass nail in it. Surprise, my tire is already going flat! Now, I have to worry about driving home with a semi flat tire on the same side as all the other damage. Fucking fantastic. I'm so happy about that. Anyways I've had enough of that shit today and I told Shane that I can no longer run errands like that because I can't drive my car in certain places because of the damage. He was understanding at least so that was nice.

I'm TIRED! I want to GO HOME! I've committed to writing a midterm paper about a topic that I'm finding is increasingly difficult to write about. It's pathetic too because it only has to be six pages with the references and the cover page included. That means I have four pages of written dialog on how women in the history of psychology and how their contributions have gone overlooked. It seems interesting and would be an awesome fucking paper if I wasn't restricting myself to six to eight pages. I could definitely go way further in depth and cover more women but it just doesn't work out that way.

Someone write my paper for me! lol [=

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Research and Fradulent Data

We watched a video today in my research class that discussed the problem of fraudulent data in research and it was flooring. There was a huge flurry, what scientists argued only few, discoveries of data that had been "cooked" or "trimmed" or faked in a way that seriously harmed the medical and scientific research fields. I was really surprised to see how common an issue this was, especially when my teacher gave us updated facts. She told us that only a small percentage of people would admit to questionable researching but when those peoples coworkers were questioned a HUGE percent of people would say that the person's methods were questionable! It's easy for them to cover up their own mistakes but they sure as hell are at the jump to calling the kettle black.

The most surprising piece of evidence for this whole idea of research scamming was that all the research that was done on the autism being linked to vaccinations have ALL been PULLED! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD MISTAKES AND ERRORS!!! Just to think how many people would say that they wouldn't get their child a vaccination because of the link to autism and now those links have been destroyed. . .can you even imagine how many children actually got sick because they did not receive the vaccination?!!

With the facts that my teacher gave us, falsifying data and having questionable research practices seems to be a common thing, even today. People are so fueled by their pressure to be successful, to see the results that they want to see, to find the results that the grant lenders want to see, to be productive enough so they can reach tenure at a school, to get grant money in the first place, ETC ETC ETC that they have to bring themselves to these desperate measures.

Moral of the story: BE AN INFORMED CONSUMER! If you want to try a new medicine or whatever then learn how to read the research that is provided on it and read the reviews and know that you could likely become a victim of research fraud!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Out with the old, in with the nothing? Plus my ramblings on internet addiction.

I've recently become really aggravated with people lately. So, I'm just blogging that I'm going to be doing some dumping out of the old. As of right now, I don't plan on bringing anyone new in. I just don't care for it.

I'm deleting my Facebook today. I would delete my myspace however, I've heard you have to jump through all these hoops to be able to do so and the fact that I never get on that bitch anyways would make it a waste of time. I'm just going to go through and delete all that shit that's on there. Pictures and all, of course after saving them.

The fact that I just want to be done with it is not the only reason. I'm disgusted with how addicted people are to the internet and social networks. First of all, you know damn well the only reason why you ask people to be your friend on those things is so that you can nose into their lives and know what they have been doing and where they are in life. Also, it's so you can compare where are you to where they are. Oh, so yeah, high school never ended huh? By the way, I don't need to know what the fuck you are doing in every minute of your life. I can't even comprehend the fact that a girl I know today was updating her status as she was getting an epidermal shot to induce her labor today. Are you that fucking addicted that you cannot take the time to leave your Facebook alone will you have your baby? How fucking pathetic. I'm also disappointed with the fact that people are so used to communicating on the internet that they no longer know how to properly communicate offline.

Anyways, I'm going to get on doing some more homework for the evening. Bye.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Job Apps

After doing the math for the salary that Shane has offered me I have decide that I should look into other opportunities just to see what I can get. Mostly because I will only be able to barely make it with that salary, and i know I still get commission with the other job however I do not want to rely on commission to make it. I have filled out like two or three applications. Unfortunately though I went through a lot of the cities in Colorado and it turns out that only one city is hiring for police officers right now. Fucking bonkers! Anyways, it almost looks like I'm going to have to stay with Shane til I find something else.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Well that didn't last long

Yesterday I had a total break down. While driving to work instead of school to do my study because the bad weather caused my campus to be closed I hit a brand new moon crater sized pot hole. Because there was medal sticking out from my accident when I hit the pothole my tire was sliced open. I had to call my boss to get a ride to the office and then the owner had a guy who does odd jobs for him put the donut on it and drive it up the office. I was soooo aggravated and fed up with everything that keeps fucking happening to me that I just broke down and started crying. I was so stressed out with how much money I've had to spend on this thing and then on top of that I lost 15 participants for my study and now am having to hope that they will resign up for the study on another date that I could not hold it in.

Last night i dreamt about insurance costs all night =[.

It blows for me right now, but hopefully shit is going to start turning around for me soon.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A break from the anxiety that grips my brain on a daily basis

It's been awhile. . .I've been so ridiculously stressed out with school and work and a recent car accident that I have done nothing but try and prevent a massive break down. Here's the scoop on my current life:

School - I have started conducting my study for my experiment. So far, it is going pretty well, tomorrow is the second day of me meeting with participants so hopefully all runs smoothly. In the meantime I have also been working on the paper portions of this experiment and it's coming along. We have to do each section separately which is good because she gives us feedback on what changes we should make and stuff like that. Right now, I'm currently working on the methods section. My other classes are going pretty well. I got too good grades on a midterm and a take home exam in one class and I'm really enjoying that class. My other two online classes are like busy work and pretty damn boring but I have to have them.

Work - Going great! I sat down with the owner and discussed the future. He's planning on starting a new business and has my integrated into it. Where I would be bringing in the clients and making a percentage of the profits of that company plus a salary for the current job with the security place I have. Basically, with no set promises, if I continued working with this company and doing the other company as well I would be looking at making over $30,000 a year which is really great to me! I think it's a little less than what I would be making as a police officer but with everything that is going on right now with me there's no way in hell I'd be ready for the academy like I want to be so I just have to put that on hold. He generously offered to pay for a graduation present of a trip to Vegas for me for a couple nights where he pays for the flight and the hotel. He just said whoever I bring, which he assumed correctly to be Mark, would have to pay their share of the flight which is pretty damn cheap! He's also offered to loan me some money on a new car since I got in a car accident, which I will go over next, and am in need of a new car a little sooner than what I had planned. He's also offered a 2200 sq ft house for $800 a month to mark and I. Or, since Mark and I haven't really discussed living together, he's offered a loft to me as well. So, it's going really great!

Car accident - I was driving to meet Mark and made a left turn and a woman didn't even attempt to stop and definitely had time to and hit my car on the passenger back side right where the tire is. We had to replace the strut and pull out the tire flare and junk to make sure the tire doesn't rub but all in all my Deathbot is still up and running thank God! I basically almost had a panic attack that whole weekend because I thought for sure my car was done and I had no money to buy a new one. Mark and Shane offered to buy me a car and I would just pay them back but luckily I didn't have to do that. I was also extremely scared because after talking to my insurance adjuster I thought that for sure I was going to sued for being under insured and my insurance not covering all the injury costs but my dad spoke to a friend of his who is an adjuster and he said he would keep an eye on the claim but he doesn't think the injury costs will even come close to going over so that's a lot of relief! My main focus now is saving up a lot of money so that I can afford to buy my ass a new car in like two months when I graduate!

Everything else is going okay. I am far too stressed out about making sure I pass all my classes this semester and ensuring that I graduate on time to be worried about too much other shit. The fact that Shane is offering me a pretty good deal takes a giant load off my chest because I'm leaning towards staying with him for however long I need to in order to be prepared for what I want to do and I won't have to worry about trying to find a job, a place to live, and all that other shit that comes after you graduate. Lol. I like convenient easy shit that I can know with a little more certainty right now that I'm not going to regret in the long run.

btw, yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy for new health care bill! [=

Monday, March 1, 2010

Tattoo Number 2


I got it done at a tattoo parlor and the guy was fucking amazing! He was gentle and considerate and really enjoyable to be around for over two hours of work. As scared as I was of the shading, it was no where near as bad as the outlining was. Right when he was finishing up was when it was getting sensitive and a little painful but the rest of the time was nothing. He was surprised because he said that he had always heard that the inside of the thigh was always the most tenderest spots but I didn't even flinch!

I'll post pictures soon. It's a grey and black shading, however right now it has a slight red tint, definitely turned down since we first finished, so I need to take new pictures.

It looks absolutely fantastic though! Mark has the guy doing a drawing up for his and we're going to see it on Friday. I'm excited because seeing me get mine has made Mark desperate to get his lol! His mom will SHIT BRICKS THOUGH! lol [=

Also, Mark bought a new couch and a new recliner. I'm FUCKING EXCITED for both because they are incredibly comfortable. They're faux leather and they like cup you and cuddle you when you sit. There is no possible way to sit wrong or be uncomfortable in this things. It fits us cuddling and everything! It's perfect! [= [= [=


School is quite overwhelming

I finally did get full approval for conducting my study from my teacher. Now all I have to do is get permission from the subjects pool administrator, which should be no problem, and then from there I have to reserve my room and start conducting. I haven't even got my materials together, and I definitely have not ran a trial run on this thing. I'm getting more and more anxious about it because not only am I doing the stuff for this class, which includes trying to prepare to conduct as well as continuing to write the paper and stuff, plus all my other school work - I'M STRESSED THE FUCK OUT! and unfortunately, I haven't been doing much working on homework to help these overwhelming feelings. I need money so I don't want to take off work but I think that I am definitely going to have to to be able to collect my data in a timely manner as well as complete my other work. Today, I looked at my planner and said FUCK because next week I have a fucking mid term. As much as I am excited about graduating this semester, I can not believe what lies ahead of me in the amount of the work that I have to do is incredibly depressing. Tonight sums up my life for the rest of the semester basically. When I got home from work at about 5 pm I played with Maddoxx for about fifteen minutes, then I ate dinner, then I tumbl'd for like ten minutes and then at 545 I started working on homework. I've taken short ten minute breaks but I'm still not done with everything. I should have been reading this weekend and not watching tv and doing bullshit. =/. I feel like I'm super behind in my history class, but I've read a whole chapter on stuff and we haven't even talked about it in class, however I have to remember we cover a chapter a class so by Thursday I have to have the next chapter read and by ready to go for the midterm on Tuesday of next week.

Ugh finding the balance is really hard. I've never had such a stressful semester of school in my entire life! My ten minute break is up. =/

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Mark went into work this evening. So he's working from 11 to 7 tonight and then 11 to 9 tomorrow. =|. Not only do I think this is RETARDED but I'm also extraordinarily frustrated because the weekends are really the only time we get to hang out. Apparently, he didn't care for that this weekend. Well unfortunately little does he know in these next couple of weeks he won't be seeing much of me because I will have to be conducting my data collection during the week. Whatever, I'm frustrated and disappointed and extremely aggravated. He ruined my evening so I'm going to go sulk.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Shaun White

Is the ONLY REASON to watch the Olympics. He smashed on everyone's face this evening and it definitely sealed him a spot as an idol for me. He is so ridiculously good at what he does. The best part is that he absolutely loves what he does and I love that. How can you be bad if it's something that you are absolutely obsessed and in love with doing?! My congratulations goes out to him and Lago, I think, who placed third this evening. This two dudes are fantastic. If you haven't seen them you need. Shaun White's height is incomparable. He goes so hard and the tricks he lands are perfect and smooth. What an awesome and amazing snowboarder and athlete!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Slug Bug PURPLE - no slug bugs back

your suppose to tag people to do this but I don't know anyone to tag so TAG YOURSELF. Find a pic of a slug bug and post it with the color!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Research update

I got a perfect score on my Sampling Plan assignment which covered where I was going to get my sampling pool, who is was going to be and the informed consent and debriefing forms. I had to make a slight change but everything seems to be well on track with this experiment. I am still pretty stressed out about it because I have to finish one more assignment due Tuesday that will determine whether or not I will be given permission to go through with the whole thing. This experiment requires a timeline from me and I'm experiencing a lot of commitment phobia with it. I don't want to say that I will have something done by a certain date and then not be able to follow through with it. It scares me. There's a lot to this assignment and I've been working on it a lot but I'm still not done. I've been really busy at work too so it hasn't really been helping that I'm stressed out there and then come home to be stressed out about school work. =[

Speaking of homework, I'm going to get back on it.


I went to my sister's house last night and she gave me some awesome advice on my expenses and budgeting and saving. I was planning on getting a new car when I graduated however as you know I've been applying for credit cards and I keep getting denied so I was not so hopeful about getting that. Well, my sister turned me onto this guy Dave Ramsey who is a financial advisor or something. His tips are awesome, his ideas and advice are fantastic. I watched a video on his website explaining that you don't have to have a credit card or credit at all to be able to buy a car. He explained it like you buy a $6,000 car out of pocket with cash, then instead of paying a monthly car payment for however long, you take the money that you would be spending on that and put it into a savings account and save that up for several months to be able to buy another car outright. It makes a HELL OF A LOT MORE SENSE to me! I don't like credit cards. I don't believe in them. I figure that if I can't afford to get something right then and there then I do not need to get it. His philosophy is mine. It's NOT the American way to be in debt. . .despite the facts of how many people are, it's just a myth.

So my sister also turned my onto a website I think it's called expenseview.com and it's free. You can enter your daily, monthly, and yearly expenses, as well as your salary and do a budget report and everything. I'm also using an Excel worksheet that she sent me that she uses as well. Instead of keeping a daily money journal that I write I've decided to do this. I've learned the hard way that NO ONE is going to do this for me. The best way to save myself is to put in the work to be able to do so. It's important that I do this because not only do I not want any more debt than what I already have from school, but also because I need to learn how to manage my money a lot better. I'm excited, but I'm also not really looking forward to it. I have to practice keeping EVERY SINGLE ONE of my receipts and I've already failed at this lol. I need something in my car that can hold onto my daily receipts and then each night I will empty it out, notate the expenses in my expense reports and then I'll need another thing to hold onto the receipts after. I have to remind myself to keep up with this because it's easy to give up with frustration just like I did with my money journal.

Wish me luck. Also, if you are interested in any of these websites or reports feel free to let me know and I'll email them over to you. Dave Ramsey's website is daveramsey.com.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Crunch time

Next Tuesday my Designs Methods is due for my experiment. It has a lot to it and it basically finalizes all my ideas for conducting my research. I mean finalize like I can't go back and change anything unless I have a legitimate reason to do so and it has to be approved by my teacher. This week I will be spending a lot of time working on that and then next week I will be working on a take home essay test for my history of psychology class. I've really gotten into the reading for this class because it addresses, history, philosophy, history of philosophy, and psychology all my favorites [=. If I didn't make it in the psychology world I would definitely go for history or religion. I'm not overly religious at all, I can't even honestly say what my beliefs are for sure however I find it all incredibly interesting and I absolutely love how it's so tied in to so much of what happened in the world.

Today has been an incredibly long day. I had to open the office at 7am and I had A LOT of work to do. It was non-stop the whole day. I'm going to rest. Hope you're days went well.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


I'm not much of a photographer and I definitely do not have any amazing up scale camera however I've decided that I need to document more of my life with pictures. They are the best and closest things we can have to re-experiencing all of our memories and I don't want to miss out on that opportunity.

One important thing that I'm not going to do though is uploading every single online. I don't believe that others in the online community, regardless of whether or not I know them, need to see every aspect of my life. I honestly think that a lot of pictures are inappropriate for the online community, especially because of the networking capabilities that is has. Consider this, how you would feel if you were turned down for your dream job based on the fact that your pictures on your Facebook were deemed inappropriate and not something they wanted as a part of the company? Wouldn't feel you like shit and go change those pictures immediately? Why not take preventive steps first.

I will pick and chose what I show though. And I will keep ya'll updated as much as possible. I plan on just making a lot of photo albums. Old school like. [=

Sex on the dance floor

Mark and I went out downtown last night with two friends, Natasha and Rachel. We had a good time for the most part. We went to this place called Swanky's that sells slushies with Everclear Vodka. They were really good, however from my old alcoholic days I remember how strong Everclear is and I did not taste that shit at all in my slushy so I'm fairly certain mine just had regular vodka. We then went over to LoDo's which is a club/bar neither one of us really like but we sucked it up because I really wanted to go out and dance.

This is us dancing to some random song. We basically had sex on the dance floor and it was fantastic. I love how into each other we look. Well, I love how into my titties he is [= hahahahah. I label this picture sex on the dance floor, titties, cleavage, love, and finally EST. October 2008.

I love this man. Everyday he makes me incredibly happy to be apart of my life. He is such a wonderful addition and a perfect fit. [=

Snow Day

It's finally snowing in Colorado. Not nearly as bad as the East Coast is/got hit though. We went outside and played in the snow for a while. He raced around the backyard showing me how fast he has gotten. Every time I threw his toy he would run back and forth jumping over it but never quite picking it up.

This image is from him digging his nose through the snow. It was the cutest thing. This is by far one of my most favorite pictures of him. He makes my heart smile when he does stuff like that [=.

Today, we were watching the puppy bowl on Animal Planet. He jumped down from the couch and started begging. He wanted to play with the puppies on the television. Then he jumped back up on the couch and watched the television action with intensity. He's too cute!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Experiment/Research update

I'm really happy because I just got some feedback on an assignment that I turned in for my research study and it was really good. It seems as though I'm right on track for this whole thing to come together. To give you in detailed information of where I am right now:

I proposed my revised idea to my teacher of does learning the statistics of gambling, increase or decrease the likelihood of risk taking in gambling? This idea got approved once I finally pulled together all of my operational definitions, meaning I explained in detail how exactly I was going to go about measuring my independent and dependent levels. So, my independent variables are going to be gender (male and female) and whether or not the participant receives a little course in statistics before performing a specified task. My dependent variable is the Columbia Card Task. If you would like to know more about this task you can look it up in wikipedia or google whatever. But basically you pick a card and as long as you pick a "gain" card you can keep picking unless you decide to stop because you don't want to pick a "lose" card. When you pick a "lose" card you can no longer pick. Once the participant stops choosing I count the number of times the individual turned a card. That average is the measure of the level of risky behavior.

So, the thing I just got back was the justification for my research. This was my attempt at explaining why I am conducting this study, how it will further expand or add to or bring up any new topics within broader area of research that it is in, for example problem gambling, and so forth. My teacher basically said it was all really well developed. She recommended that I clear up one of my paragraphs but other than that, that the justification would look good in the introduction section of the report that I am going to have to write for this study.

Today, I completed a sampling plan. The sampling plan covers the informed consent and the debriefing forms that will be given to the participants as well as any ethical concerns or positive or negative effects on the participant and the types of participants I will be using. Because I have easy and convenient access to them, I am just going to use our schools pool from the psychology 101 pool. So I'm targeting college aged students based on research that has identified mid to old adolescents and young adults as more likely to engage in risky behavior. I have to examine ethical stuff because I am drawing a blank on how a study like this can be unethical, but well see.


Monday, February 1, 2010

Calling all tech geeks!

I need to figure out what the fuck I'm going to get my boyfriend for valentine's day. I got him mixing bowls already and a lingerie outfit but other than that I don't know what the fuck to get him. He is a big tech geek so any recommendations would be awesome. He already has an iphone though just so ya know.

My research ideas that I proposed didn't really get approved so now my research questions look at risky behavior and decision making in gambling when the person knows the statistics of gambling. Hopefully, this will work out alright. I'm just about to finish typing up the justifications for my research idea and turn that in and then I have to get started on the sampling plans and the consent and debriefing forms.

Nothing really exciting is really going on right now. I've realized how out of touch I am with the world and the news lately. I just saw that one Tila Tequila is pregnant, two her fiance died, and three the babies daddy is The Game? I'm out of touch with the unimportant gossip news really. That shit gets boring so fast to me though because I don't understand how people can get so wrapped up in that shit. Tila Tequila's lame has been desperately trying to crawl her ugly ass back into the light for sometime now. . .she's just desperate for attention and to be something again even though she was never anything. What the fuck else is going on in the world? I'm out of touch with the real news too. I haven't been looking at the bbc because of how wrapped up in work and school I've become and when I'm not wrapped up in that shit I'm on tumblr trying to release my stress on there. Apparently a jet landed on the New Jersey turn pike today? WTF happened?

I miss my bestfriend Janet who lives in Mississippi now. That bitch moved there before I even graduated high school and now she has my god son and I still haven't met him =[. It makes me super sad when I talk to her and she's always talking about making plans to come back to Colorado but then whenever she does she says she's about to buy herself a ticket and something else comes up. she invited me to Florida with her for Spring Break but my Spring Break is the week after hers =/. Maybe I'll make a trip down south somewhere and stop through there to see her, see my god son, and meet her man. I wish I had money like it was nothing so it would be easy to make a spring break trip somewhere but I doubt that will happen =[. I need to be saving money for when my happy ass gets of school so I can get an apartment and a car, shit. Can't be doing all this traveling and shit.

Mark and I started are "eating better" diet. It's going great so far. The other day when I weighed myself I had lost like three pounds so that's awesome! I uhm had a massive hang over all day yesterday so I wonder how much I weight today cuz i feel extra skinny hahah! I'm going to get on this homework. buh bye.

Friday, January 29, 2010

The letter from when I donated

Dear Jody,

Thank you for your donation of $25.00 to support our 11th annual Pledges for Pets Telethon. Your gift will be used to help care for the more than 25,000 animals we receive each year as well as to provide valuable services to the pets and people of our community.

Now that you have donated, I hope you will tune in on Sunday, January 25! You will be able to take a shelter tour, get valuable pet care information, and meet homeless pets looking for new families—all without leaving home!

Thank you, again, for your kindness.


Robert D. Rohde

[= [= [= [= [= [=

Animal Shelters

Some of you might not know that I adopted Maddoxx. He is such an amazing part of my life and I'm so incredibly happy to have him. I spent money on him that I did not have just to get him and I've never been more happier with something in my life. I adotpted him from a NO KILL SHELTER which is why I bring your attention to this.

The Denver Dumb Friends League is an animal shelter in Denver, CO. It serves all kinds of animals, both big and small. Although this is not the place that I got Maddoxx from I definitely support it in any way I can because they have done so much not only for the animals in Colorado, but for animals NATION WIDE! They took in animals from California, Arizona, from Katrina and MORE! The animals at the shelter and the animals that may end up in the shelter, as well as the individuals who work and volunteer for the shelter need help!

They are accepting donations through an event that they are holding today. You can go to this website https://secure2.convio.net/ddfl/site/Donation2?df_id=2762&2762.donation=form1 and donate any amount that you like! Please do so! Animal shelters are WAY BETTER than the breeding homes and stores that subject animals to cruelty and maltreatment. If you do anything to help support animals in any kind of way, make it this!

Thanks for your time. I'm typically not the type of person to blog about this kind of stuff but this is important to me because Maddoxx was saved through the shelter system and he has added so much happiness to my life that I can't thank them enough.


go do it!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My boss

I need to remind myself that today I am suppose to ask my boss for a raise. . .that I'm suppose to get starting tomorrow. That means I will be getting one more dollar! Woop Woop! Nice because I am going to be working thirty five hour weeks now and going to classes. Hopefully, I will have an easier time with saving some money especially now since all I have to pay is for my phone bill and then everything that I absolutely need to spend money on will be taken care of for the time being.

Jason noticed today that I'm a little more anxious now at work. He asked how school was going and I explained to him that I was pretty stressed out about it especially because of the experiment thing. It was just nice to know that he noticed that I'm a little stressed out, not that he was really going to do anything about it though lol.

I am very busy today. We placed on ad for employment on craigslist and have been getting phone calls nonstop. It's quite aggravating really because I have been here for five hours already and have had a million phone calls. Only a couple of people have come in to apply though and out of those only two people have been what we are looking for. It's clean up time in our field employees department. We desperately need to get rid of the retards, the stinky ones, and more!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Stressed the eff out

My research project ideas are due today. I have settled on these three questions. Does age or gender effect your chances of being successful in a game of poker? Does learning the statistics of gambling increase the likelihood of being successful in a game of poker? and finally, Does different areas of the brain activate for different genders or age groups when an individual is judging attractiveness. I'm extremely stressed out about these ideas because I'm not sure I'm presenting them with everyhthing that my teacher is asking for.

For each idea we have to provide the question, the hypothesis, the operational definitions of the variables, independent and dependent, (unless its correlational) and the strenths and weaknesses of our ideas. For the two gambling ideas which are the ideas I'm most interested in and really want to do I am having a hard time operationally defining the variables. Clearly age and gender are easy, but the dependent variable of success is extremely difficult. The operational defintion must by accepted and understood by the scientific audience and because I have found no research that studies success in gambling I have not found any certain measure that I can use in my study. I told my teacher about my problem today. She told me to look more in addiction to gambling but I still found nothing. She did tell me to submit and see what we can do with it so I'm guessing that when she sees the idea a little bit better then maybe she will have an idea of what I can do.

This class is not starting off on a good foot. Thanks to the first part of the class that I had with the worst freaking teacher ever, I'm freaking out! If I don't graduate on time because of this I'm going to be absolutely DEVASTATED!!!!

Today is a bad day. I'm highly stressed out and aggravated. Usually my coping strategies are a lot better but I think the fact that I have a pounding headache is not helping. My bed calls my name but I know damn well I need to be spending my night working on this experiment idea and NOT catching up on the sleep that I don't get in the mornings because of how early I have to get up for work/class. GOOD FUCKING NIGHT.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Just out of curiosity because my best friend Tina works two full time jobs and has no medical insurance. She hurt her knee two weeks ago playing soccer and she still can't put weight on it and it's still really bruised. I don't understand has she has two full time jobs and does not have insurance. She said she doesn't have any with the YMCA because she works for so many different departments. I don't get that. You still work for them so they should still offer you insurance. . .the different departments might have different ones but then you can just pick which one is best for you. I think she is just being naive about the whole thing so can anyone tell me what she should do. She is just being stupid because she thinks spending money on her health is not worth it apparently. I'm just like, okay bitch when you can't fucking walk in a while because of that knee don't fucking come crying to me about that shit.

Anyone know anything?

My sunday funday

I failed the whole idea of not drinking last night to help improve my stomach functions (my stomach has been feeling a lot better, I think it was a result of bad food). I didn't drink much but I did wake up this morning with a pounding headache and a blank in my mind from walking into Mark's apartment and getting in bed. I'm not sure what went on or what I said during that part of the night but I'm fairly certain it was not a result of blacking out from alcohol but a combo of extreme exhaustion and a small effect of alcohol lol. Despite my splitting headache I have been quite productive today. I did some homework so I'm ahead in my classes for now. I would really like to start the papers that I have to write and the presentation that I need to do now so that I can just focus on the experiment and the paper for the experiment later on and not everything at once. I'll be doing my research on the topics I want to cover and stuff like that later.

I bought some new clothes yesterday. I have been in a desperate desire for a long sleeve mini dress and some knee high socks. I got both of those items from American Apparel and I added on a really cute, really sexy one piece thong thing from American Apparell as well.

Heres the dress and thigh high socks

Here's the top that I paired with a grey skirt and the thigh high socks with a little peep of my tattoo:

I'm excited to wear the dress with the over the knees Mark got me for XMAS.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

First Credit Card

So. . .I am looking into buying a new car when I graduate. I am specifically interested in getting a Nissan Exterra or Pathfinder because I need a 4 wheel drive vehicle for the winter and those have good gas mileage and lifetimes. However, as I was talking with my ma last night, she helped me realize that I have ABSOLUTELY NO established credit to be able to purchase a car, let alone the money but that's not important right now. So I have decided that I am being forced into getting a credit card because no one in my family will be able to be a cosigner for me and I don't want to have to pay for that anyways. My mom suggested getting a Capital One Card because she said that what you do is send them say $500 dollars for example and that sets your maximum spending amount. Each time you spend money on that card you have to pay that amount back in order to keep your balance on the card in order. I'm actually getting ready to do my research and ensure that this is how it really works but for the most part I will be getting my first credit card. I'm happy to say that I have gone 22 years without one and have not racked up any debt besides school loans, unlike a lot of the people I know. I'm scared of this thing. It's a big commitment and it will take a lot of convincing to get me to actually agree to getting this thing. I don't trust myself enough and I also am tied to it. Committing to something I'm uncertain of, which is anything that requires a commitment, is definitely a recurring theme within my life story. I cry every time I sign a fucking phone contract I mean shit. This is something that I have to do and I just have to be diligent about only using it sparingly and smartly. I can't fuck myself over by going over the top and not making the payments and shit like that. Although I've applied for credit cards in the past, I never got approved so I didn't have anything to worry about so we'll see if Capital One even approves me. Wish me luck anyways.

On a side note, I didn't want to go anywhere this weekend or do anything but then I realized I have shit to do. I have to go get my oil changed and my prescription filled. I didn't want to spend money really either but I really want this dress and this one piece thong thing from American Apparel so I think I'm going to treat myself.

I decided on my third idea for my research experiment. The final idea I'm going to submit is Does learning the statistics of gambling increase the chances or change the behavior of the gambler. It should be a fun thing to look at it.

I'm really sick and tired of the Tumblr, other blog, site that I'm on. It has so many malfunctions and errors and it's constantly ridiculously slow. It's quite aggravating because I really like the site and stuff but in general it is truly shitty. =[

I'm off to do my research and prepare to watch Grey's Anatomy which starts in 15 minutes! YAYAYYYAY

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Research Experiment Ideas - Again

I know this might get old. But this is helping me. If you have any suggestions please feel free to add them.

What if I did something that dealt with attractiveness. Like, if I could explore what areas of the brain are activated when a person is evaluating the attractiveness of another individual. My question would be Are there certain areas within the brain that are activated when a person is judging the attractiveness of another individual? Do different areas of the brain activate depending on gender? Do different areas of the brain activate depending on age? My hypothesis would be that there are areas within the brain that activate while a person is judging the attractiveness of the brain. There are not different areas of the brain that activate when a man or woman is judging the attractiveness or when an older individual or younger individual is doing the judging. My independent variables would be gender and age. My dependent variables would be the measure of the brain activity and the level of attractiveness. Operationally defined, level of attractiveness would be measure on a one to ten scale, with one being the lowest rating of attractiveness and 10 being the highest rate of attractiveness. Strengths - there is a lot of research on this topic. The proper equipment is available. I could just use pictures of both famous and non-famous individuals. Weaknesses - there is a lot of already completed research on this study. Would I be able to map out the areas of the brain properly? How in-depth do I need to go on the mapping of the areas. Would I be able to use the machines properly.

I'm going to use this one and see what my teacher says.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

First day of Last Semester

Today was my first day of the last semester of college for me. It was a good day. I like both of my on campus teachers. Those classes I think are going to be great, challenging classes. History and Systems is going to make me think and I'm definitely going to be learning a lot. The tests might be kind of hard though. It's all written so they will be made up of short answer and essays - which I am a good writer so I'm not really complaining, but they are just tedious. Research Methods II is the class I'll be conducting my own experiment in. I know I posted my idea of for my experiment, however I found out today that I will have to come up with two more ideas to turn in to my teacher before she helps me narrow down which one I'm actually going to be doing. I'll be sure to update with the other two ideas and of course which one I finally decide to do, definitely seeing as though I got a little interest in how that turns out. It made me very happy to see someone who was interested in what was going on in my life [=. I'm basically going to be MARRIED to this damn experiment so I really am hoping and praying that I can stumble my ass through this thing and come out with a good grade. I think I can conduct the research part of it, the writing part may be the hardest part for me because of the poor teaching I got in the first part of this class. My teacher did say we would be spending class time on how to write each section of the paper though so THANK GOD she is helping us with that or I'd be totally fucked! My other two classes are online. I had one teacher last semester I think online as well and the class assignments and stuff are pretty similar to what I just had last semester in that class so that shouldn't be too hard. The other class seems easy as pie really. I just have to make sure I do the readings, answer questions on the readings, and do the quizzes. I don't have to write a paper for that class either because it's a Criminal Justice class and not psych and the psych department REQUIRES at least one paper to be written in each class. i think that's a good but also STUPID AS HELL policy but oh well what does my little student opinion matter right? My books are only going to cost my like around $200.00 so that's not too bad. I have to pay for them right now and my parents will pay my back later because they don't have the money for it right now. (The deal with all three of their kids was if we went to school they would pay for the books).

Mark and I decided to do a diet together. We are going to do the ABS Diet. He has done it before and he really liked it. So far, he has been easing his way into it again lately and he has already lost six pounds so congratulations to him!! We are going to sit down this weekend and discuss costs, work out plans, and how we are going to do the meals. I think it's a great idea for the two of us to do it together because my mom refuses to do it with me and I definitely believe in motivational partners when dieting and working out. I'm hoping that I can find somewhere that I can get a pool membership too for cheap so that I can incorporate swimming into my work out because I really enjoy swimming despite how bad I am at it.

I'm pretty tired and I have to open the office again tomorrow. Good night [=

Monday, January 18, 2010

Classes start Tomorrow

Two online classes and two on campus classes. My FINAL SEMESTER as a college student. Hopefully, this shit goes by smoothly and quickly. I've been getting like close to forty hours a week these past couple of weeks so although the paycheck is going to be very nice, it will also be nice to switch up my schedule and have something else to do other then just sit up in this office and go home. I enjoy learning so I'm looking forward to smashing this semester.

I've been having a lot of stomach problems lately. I'm not sure if it's my diet or from drinking or not getting enough sleep or what. I have this feeling of being constantly full and whenever I go to eat, even though I was hungry a little bit, as soon as I start I'm completely full. I try to shove the food down my throat but it only makes my stomach start swelling up and feeling all bloated. I'm not sure what's going on here so I'm quitting soda, beer, and horrible foods for a while. Hopefully it works out. I have to start a new dosage of thyroid meds soon too, like as soon as I take my ass to Wal-Mart and get the prescription refilled. I'm also wondering if it's this resturant that Mark and I always eat at called Dozens. I was pretty hungry before going there on Sunday morning and then as soon as I ordered my food I did not want to eat anything. I wasn't hung over yesterday either, in fact I haven't been hung over at all when my stomach has been acting up like this. I'm not sure if I have a bug that's lasted me a couple weeks or what. =[

Maddoxx has been really bad lately. When Mark and I hang out on the weekends we usually go out to eat and just leave him in the car. Well, Saturday I tried to put my food in a spot in the car where he couldn't reach it but I didn't really realize that I put it in a spot that was too accessible for him even though he was in his seatbelt. So he ate ALL of my chicken fried steak w gravy and potatoes left overs. Then, Sunday I left the box of food on the floor board in the front seat and he fucking HOUDINI'D out of his seat belt and ate some of it. Mark was pissed! Which I understand, he fucked his car up twice and both meals Mark had paid for. =[. NO MORE HUMAN FOOD FOR HIM EVER!

I'm bored. BYE

Friday, January 15, 2010

Work Rant

This fucking whore calls my office every fucking day and she is incredibly fucking rude. She is looking for some guy that use to work for us, who never worked in the office just as a guard. She wants his phone number and all this shit and I keep telling her he don't work for us and that I can't give out any of his information. She still keeps giving me her number and demanding that I call him and pass on the number.

NO YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCH. That's not my mother fucking job. Clearly, your job is to get a hold of him and you suck at it. You're done calling my office looking for someone to get ahold of him because that's not our responsibility. It's yours and it's not our fault if you can't do it. I'm not going to take it upon myself to help someone who is obnoxious, rude, and annoying as fuck.

Call my office one more time. Dare ya.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Felony Charges for Animal Abuse

I'm an avid animal lover. I was watching the news this evening and they touched on the story of Buddy the German Shepherd dog that was dragged outside of the vehicle of his owner or individual that stole him from the back of another vehicle. Buddy's story is FAR TOO SAD for me to read. It infuriates and saddens me to NO END that people are truly that careless, wreck-less, and fucking ignorant. The story from tonight just discussed how people on Facebook (people around the world) are working to bring animal abuse to the attention of lawmakers and increase the misdemeanor charges that people face now up to felony charges, even on the first one. I'm not sure if this law is nation wide or only state wide but it also discussed Westey's Law. This law states that a second charge of animal abuse can be pumped up to a felony offense, however individuals who are abusing animals for the first time skate by with really only a slap on the wrist and a simple fine. I definitely feel this is something that is extremely important for our lawmakers to take into consideration. I definitely believe that those who get by with only misdemeanor charges have it easy and they definitely aren't going to learn. There are some individuals who might make the change however, I don't think the misdemeanor offense is quite enough for the majority of these people. I see far too many cases, I mean shit, they have SEVERAL DIFFERENT SHOWS on the Animal Channel about these incidences alone and honestly I watch them but if they weren't on I'd be so much happier.

I also believe the law for felony charges and misdemeanor charges should include other requirements for animal ownership. I think that individuals who are trying to get an animal, no matter if it's a cat, a dog, or even a fish, the individual should have to take a class on how to take care of the animal. I think people need to learn what it actually takes to raise an animal. It's not a simple as just bringing it home and letting it roam around the house and giving it food when convenient. People have to demonstrate knowledge the types of food the animal should be eating, the types of toys, how the animal interacts with new people, children, and other animals. What it takes cost wise to own the animal is important as well. It's not fair to make an animal suffer in pain or whatever just because they can't afford to take it the doctor. People also need to be taught that there are resources available to them if they can no longer afford the animal or take care of it. I'm sure there are plenty of individuals who would be willing to teach this class (me for one) and it's something that can be paid for by the future owner of the animal. They have to pay to get their new animal so in order to receive him they have to complete the class and have a full understanding of what it is going to take to keep this animal and what happens if they fail to do it. I think this class idea and new law is fully capable of working out and I definitely think it would make a difference in our society.

What do you think?

Fucking car.

I don't know what I'm going to do with this piece of shit 1993 Toyota Corolla that I have. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this car to death. It's my transformer, aka deathbot. However, it's requiring me to throw money at it like a desperate hooker.


Yesterday, my car wouldn't start for work so I had to get a ride to and from work from Mark. Thanks to my darling for doing so. Then when I got back to his apartment it still wouldn't start so clearly I had to replace the battery. Mark was again an amazing gentleman and completed this task for me. I was so AGGRAVATED and SO TIRED! I definitely was not being as nice as I could have been lol. This morning the car starts up just fine. No problems. When I get to work however, I tried to lock my doors with my automatic lock system. Oh surprise! Doesn't work! I have been experiencing some problems with my locks lately so I guess I should have expected the automatic lock system to go out at some point in time. Like for example, I can't unlock my driver side door from the outside. I have to walk over to the passenger side and do it from there. A while ago though, my passenger side door locks also broke and I wasn't able to get into my car AT ALL if I didn't just leave the bitch unlocked. I toed the line with that for a while and then finally the passenger side door lock randomly started working again. On top of this nonsense, the new cd player that I got for my birthday just over a year ago in my car is no longer working. It's not reading or playing my cd's. =[

WTF YOU BASTARD CHILD CUNTADACTYL WHORE!!! Stop trying to drain my bank account when I'm trying to prepare to sale you! I think she senses that I have to get rid of her and she's putting up a fight lol. You little bitch, mama loves you!

I was exhausted last night so no book report yet. I have started the next book in the series though. I'm excited to see where the story goes.

Monday, January 11, 2010

I was going to. . .

I was going to do the "book report" on Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West today, however, I was in a rush this morning because I knew my car wasn't going to start and that Mark and I would have to jump start it. So, anyways, long story short. . .I left the book at Mark's on accident. I will get around to it later though.

My car. . .the battery has been getting too cold is this ridiculously cold weather that Colorado has been experiencing. Needless to say this weather has put my battery to shit and I think I am going to have to replace the piece of shit. It really sucks that I'm no having to invest all this money into a car that I want to be selling or trading in for a new one in May. I'm considering just buying a refurbished battery and making do with that. I'm thinking that it will cost me like 30.00 for one of these versus a brand new at 60 plus. =[ STOP DIGGING IN MY POCKET BOOK BITCHES! Mama ain't going to have money for SHIT when she graduates. So much for this saving concept. I was doing really well with my writing down everything that I spend. I think I am just having a lazy spell for the time being plus I keep on getting medical bills for doctor's appointments that I had a while ago and they're pissing me off so I refuse to have to deal with anything with money for the time being. I need my own personal banker. That would be fantastic.

I got excited today because I realized that I'll be getting my left over scholarship money soon! [= yay that can go into the savings account. Tax season is almost here as well so hopefully when I do my taxes I'll get a BIG ASS REFUND! However, that's not for months so I need to check my futuristic outlook on that.

I hope yall are having a good day. Mark and I got drunk last night instead of going to the strip club as planned and I then on top of that I got zero sleep for some stupid ass reason so I felt pretty shitty today. I ate a dominos parmesean chicken sandwich for lunch and it was fucktastic. You should try one! Until later, meaning after I go force a new couch onto Mark, lol.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Research Experiment Update

I decided what I'm going to do my research experiment on. I will be examining whether or not age and gender affect your successfulness in a game of poker. I wonder if being older or being of a certain age increases the likelihood of playing a successful game of poker. I'm not measuring success on who win's the game as a whole, but by how many hands you win throughout the game. We'll see how it goes. I'm sure there will be many updates through out the semester about this experiment and the class I'm doing it for.

PSH. . .I want to be famous too + Tattooing Children

I want a famous blog. How do I get on that kind of status? Don't you readers tell all your followers and friends about me?! (hahah psh yea fuckin right). Anyways, I kind of do what a blog that people have favorite-d and come to everyday for their every day update on not only what is going on in my life, but about new fashions, new news, and more. Now that I've made a return to this site, a more successful return where I'm actually blogging every day, I need to find stuff to blog about. It shouldn't be that hard. I'd like to know what ya'll would like to discuss too so feel free to throw out suggestions. I'd be happy to do some research on any topic just for you.

Moving on. I've recently been hearing a story on the radio about a family who is tattooing their minor children with a home made tattooing system. The children are 10 years old, 2 11 year olds, 12 years old , and a 15 and 17 year old. The parents tattooed a black cross on their hands. I know one of the children got Mom and Dad tattooed along with the cross. A sharpened guitar string was used as the needle. Illegal tattooing, cruelty to children, and reckless conduct are what the two parents are being charged with. The parents do not believe they did anything wrong. They feel strongly that they think the whole situation has been completely blown out of proportion. They feel that they did not put their children into any kind of serious danger and that the children wanted them. The parents have tattooed themselves with the same gun, I'm sure around the children. These are the type of people that the city/state should be SNATCHING UP INTO THEIR HANDS FOR CUSTODY! The children come from separate marriages so they definitely need to be placed in to the custody of more capable hands, either the other parents or the state, and removed from these two morons. I'm not a big proponent of taking children away from their parents, throwing them into an orphanage and then hoping for the best with, but in this case there's not much else that you can do, I can't imagine why the parents would think that just because the children wanted a tattoo that it was okay for them to tattoo them. I don't care what the parents do to themselves, however it's not okay to succumb to children's desires for something like this, something so life altering and permanent. Apparently, it never occurred to them that the children may be denied things in their life as a result of having a tattoo, especially in such a visible area. I wish the parents were being charged with something more serious, however I don't even know if such charges exist. The whole gig was up when the mother of one the children discovered the tattoo on one of the children. She took it immediately to the police. Clearly, both sets of parents were not involved in the decision making process here of whether the children should or shouldn't be tattooed. Imagine coming to pick up your children from your babies daddy's house and finding that shit out. I would be SO FUCKING FURIOUS I'd beat the life out both of them. I'm also disgusted by the fact that they've been using the same sharpened down guitar string on themselves and each child. HOW FUCKING INCREDIBLY UNSANITARY. I wouldn't be surprised to see filthy living conditions in their home as well. Just disgusting, pathetic, and insanely stupid.

What do you think about this story? I tried to upload a video but blogger wouldn't let me so here's a link to the partial CNN video.


Friday, January 8, 2010

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West

For Christmas, I asked for a three book series it's called Wicked and the first book is the Life and Time of the Wicked Witch of the West. I'm not quite done with the book but I love it. The story is set in OZ and of course it explores the life of the Wicked Witch of the West. The book toes the line of deceny and indeceny in the beginning but leaves you curious. It explores the political turmoil that was going on through out the OZ land before Dorothy came through with her crushing house. It explains from Elphaba's (the wicked witch of the west) point view everything that happened as a result of Dorothy killing Elphaba's sister the Wicked Witch of the East. I've only just gotten to the point of where Dorothy has arrived and the wicked witch of the west is chasing after her for the ruby slippers. I'm excited to read on into the series. I should be done with this first book this weekend or early sometime next week and will do a full review then.

Definitely recommend it as a must read.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Working Out in a Small Place

Someone I follow on tumblr posted a link to this article about working out in small places. I'm really excited about it because this is EXACTLY what I need in order to work out at home successfully.

Here's the link if you are interested. http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/fitness_articles.asp?id=629

When I try it out I'll let you know how it goes!

Research Experiment Brainstorming

So this semester, my final semester in college, I have to take a class that requires me to conduct my own research experiment/study. This is just an opportunity for me to brain storm. I may come back later and add onto it but we'll see.

Conformity - I'm sure a lot of students have already done this one but it doesn't seem too difficult. Quesetions could be Does age affect conformity? As participants get older the level of conformity declines? Does gender affect conformity? Does an all male group conform more than an all female group? If the group has more male participants are the females more likely to conform or the other way around? What type of situations lead to conformity? Seeing movie or music stars doing something? Seeing friends doing something? Seeing parents or family members doing something? Seeing teachers or other authority figures doing something? Reading about it in a magazine, book, newspaper? Seeing it online? What's the thought process behind conforming? When an indidividual is in the proccess of conforming what thoughts are going through their minds? Do individuals from lower socioeconomic statuses conform more than middle or upple class individuals? What race conforms the most and what influences their conformity the most - muscic, books, television, games, internet? So far, I'm quite interested in what race conforms the most and what had the most influence on the conforming. I would use a variety of sources like books, magazines, music, television, movies, the internet, friends, family, authority figures presenting different "cool" or "uncool" activities and trends and see what race is more likely to conform and which source is more likely to be used as a way to conform.

*****HERE'S MY DISCLAIMER!!!**** My hypothesis might sound racist or prejudice or discriminatory. IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE IN ANY KIND OF WAY. If you do not agree with me SO BE IT! This is my research experiment, my idea. If you don't like it take your fucking ass somewhere else. Thanks!

Hypothesis: The minority races - African-American, Mexican-American, Latin-American, Asian-American, etc will be more likely to conform. The sources that will be more likely to be used will be music, television, movies, and internet NOT NECESSARILY IN THAT ORDER. I think I'm not going to use parents, famiy, friends, or authority figures.

The procedure is going to be the tricky part. I will use ads seen online and on tv that relate to many different topics like drugs, alcohol, wearing fur, clothing trends, music preferences, movie preferences, Uhm basically I think I will just have my group of participants sitting in a room in a circle. I will present them all a picture for example of a movie star posing naked for an ad saying that they'd rather go naked than wear fur. I would then have them rate certain items on the picture like effectiveness of the ad, whether or not the ad makes them want to "go naked rather than wear fur", whether they like the star, whether or not they think the star is hot. I will then ask the participants to respond outloud whether or not they would do what the ad says...I want to ensure that all participants hear everyones answer so that they can feel the pressure of saying yes when everyone when else says no.

Fuck this is hard. I don't think that is going to work. I think I might need to slim down my topic. Like the different types of techniques that advertisers use to sell or combat the use of drugs and alcohol. I would have different groups of participants view different types of advertising and then I would ask questions like did these techniques make you want to do drugs? Did they convince you to not do drugs? Did they help you in facing a drug or alcohol problem? Whether or not they think the technique is affective for anyone they know that has a drug or alcohol problem? Maybe group a could get a series of movies and music that shows the depiction of drugs and alcohol in a good light and group b gets a series of ads and movies and music that show drugs and alcohol in a bad light. I like this idea because I think that drug and alcohol ads these days are ineffective. I would really like to explore these ads in younger like high school middle school age children but I don't believe I'm allowed to so I'd just use freshmen and sophmores versus seniors and juniors I guess. Hopefully I could get a good enough age range on the two upper levels.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I forgot to mention

In true "valued manager" fashion I was presented with MY VERY OWN KEY to the office.

I think it only important because my title is OFFICE MANAGER. I OWN THAT BITCH!



I read a blog today about being totally liberated from everything in your life except yourself. I wondered what it would feel like to not have a job or have to go to school just to get by. I wondered what it would be like if I didn't have parents, family, friends, or a boss to answer to. If everything about me was totally free. Personally, the thought to me is a little scary. I don't think I would do well without having a job or school or daily routine for that matter. I love working. I really like my job right now, and although I haven't liked my jobs in the past, that does not mean that I never stopped liking to work. Working makes me feel good. I like being productive, I like being successful, I like feeling accomplished. I like having something to work towards - in other words, a paycheck. School is going to end soon for me (my heart and mind are saying both "YIKES!" and "YES!!!"). In a sense, I'm totally and completely ready to not have it in my life anymore. I can focus on my career. I can make my money. I can work more hours. But without it, it will feel weird. I'm the type of person that could never just "take a break from school" and get right back to it. I mean I took "a break from soccer" when I quit and now look where I'm at - NO WHERE, not even almost working out! Anyways, school has been such a huge part of my life that the thought of not having the routine there anymore is a little scary. I'm certain that once I get settled into whichever career path I chose first I won't miss it though.

Not having to answer to anyone but myself would be MAGICAL I think. When I move BACK OUT of my parents house after I graduate (which I can only hope and pray that I'll be able to afford for right now since I have SHIT SAVED UP), I will no longer have to deal with my parents. Not that they will no longer be apart of my life, they just won't be there day in, and day out. I must say the petty ass arguments with my mother will not be missed. The awkward silences with my Dad will not be missed. Not having to answer to a boss would be quite nice. . .being my own boss would be wonderful. I definitely have the initiative to get things done on my own so there would be no worry there. I'm not the procrastinating type either so things would get done in a timely manner. It would be quite nice to set my own rules and not have to abide by other peoples. I don't like the wondering feeling/worry of whether or not I'm in trouble when my manager calls me into his office and shuts his door. UGH I HATE THAT! I do not believe that I really have to answer to my friends. They have their expectations of me and if I fail those expectations they know that they should bring it up with me and I'll fix it as needed.

Therefore, liberation I don't think is completely for me. I think I would only HALF MAKE IT. lol.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Important Stuff

READ THIS - http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8426663.stm

Then come back and read this -

This article made my jaw hit the floor. I have been a big proponent of a united health care system since I saw Michael Moore's movie ( the title of the movie escapes me at this point in time). A lot of people have heard my desire for this type of health care system and all they say to me is that I haven't done all my research and I don't know everything that is going to change. Despite what they think, I did do my research. MONTHS AGO! I know that taxes are going to increase, but I don't think that matters to me. I'd rather a certain percent come directly out of my paycheck for my health then me having to pay a fucking FORTUNE just to ensure that I'm healthy when I leave the hospital. Anyways, this post is not about my beliefs. I just wanted to point out the differences in the American stories versus the European stories. The European stories just sound SO MUCH BETTER TO ME. Honest to God, the stories I've heard of the health care in Europe have convinced me ALONE to move there. I definitely want to move there. I will be conducting my own research and stuff on what it would be like to live there and how to go about doing so.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

It's time

Mark started his diet and work out. He's doing the ab diet which worked out for him really well before so that's really good for him. I wish I could be saying that I was doing the same thing but not quite yet. I'm thinking about trying his diet out for women though because it'll help us as a couple not go out to eat so much and instead we can cook more for each other.

I find that my main problem is one having a place to work out. Mark usually works out in his apartment which is really convenient and what I would like to do because one I don't want to be paying for a gym and two I don't want to go out of my way to work out, but when I do any work out at home I feel sick afterwards. I don't know why it happens but it's definitely not a pleasant feeling. I am hoping to give my basement a try and see if I still don't feel well afterwards. My other problem is that since my parents refuse to eat healthier I will have to buy my own groceries. Dieting is NOT CHEAP and I already constantly have no money (I always feel like at least). I've been trying to practice eating better. I typically do not eat everything on my plate, but being around Mark makes me feel really bad about that. He definitely thinks its like a carnal sin to waste food and I agree but I'm not not eating it just to waste it. I'm not eating it because I CAN'T and SHOULDN'T! Unfortunately, I'm allowing one of his problems become one of my own. I spend so much time with Mark that his dieting is not going to not affect me. I know I need to and want to diet myself, but if I don't I feel like I'm just going to get frustrated with Mark because he is going to become an annoying ass calorie counter. I think what I'm going to do is ask Mark to price how much he spends on the groceries on the meals that he purchases to make for his diet and then go from there. In the meantime, I'm going to get the ab diet work out plan and do all that I can.

I've been working on my money journal steadily. Unfortunately, my numbers aren't adding up to the numbers in my bank account even though I use that on a daily basis for reference. I'm not exactly sure what's going on there quiet yet. I'm going to give it a couple days for the bank to catch up from the holidays and then see if everything gets straightened out. Today was frustrating for me with it though. I was trying to figure it out. I asked Mark a question and he was a fucking jerk. . .we were in a car wash and he was so fucking enthralled by the stupid fucking thing he just made a quick response about something totally irrelevant and then said I don't know. It just really bugged me out because of how frustrated I already was with the whole damn thing.

Hopefully, I can get my shit together soon. Classes start soon and I've been overly relaxed this break somehow. I need to be prepared to fucking kick my final semesters ass.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Happy New Year

Want to wish my readers, so few of them, the best in the year to come. May it be filled with happiness, pleasure, and money for you as I am hoping mine will be.

This is the year I graduate from college. I can not wait! I'm also scared to death to be unprepared. It's very exciting.

I spent my New Year celebration at Gibby's a local bar with my regular group of friends plus one who was in town. We had an awesome time. I won a best dressed competition. I wore black ankle boots, leopard print tights, a black shirt, a white v neck shirt and a leather jacket. My prize was a mini-bar!!! We didn't go pick it up though because I had a stomach bug, not a hangover, and was too tired to. How did ya'll bring in the New Year? Has your new year started off well so far?

Mark and I went snowboarding a couple days ago in Winter Park. I'm still ridiculously sore. My first run was fucking flawless. I was so incredibly proud of myself. The rest of the day was a little rough because we were going down green runs and it turns out Winter Park has a lot of fucking straights and those fucking suck dick! I had to take my board off several times and hike it to the next hill. Needless to say, as a result my legs were dead fucking tired by the end of the day. I couldn't even stand up. I started crying out of frustration and pain so we took some lifts down and then took one more run down and left. I had an amazing time despite the pain and frustration. I really felt bad because I always feel like I'm taking away from Mark having a good time. I have to learn how to use my toe side so that I don't put so much weight and junk on my thighs and then I'll be able to go for much longer. Mark still said he had a lot of fun but for a while he sounded very aggravated that I restrict him so much. I told him he could go and do what he wants, but he always refuses which is so incredibly kind of him. When I get my skill level up well be fucking smashing on bitches in those mountains. The snow was perfect. It snowed all day Wednesday so there was fresh powder everywhere!! I was really good about the lifts. The only time I cried on them was when we were taking one down for lunch because we were trying to meet some friends and if we boarded down I would have taken forever and we wouldn't have been able to eat with them. I had a full on panic attack and Mark kept telling me to close my eyes. He even said he got a little scared because of the height. It's beautiful up there on those things but it's also TERRIFYING. My hands got cold just from gripping the poles so hard. My new snowboarding coat acted like a pristine beast that she is. I am definitely very happy with it. I was also very proud of myself because I only fell once while getting of the lift. When I fell I pulled Mark down with me on accident so we fell together. I was so scared he was going to be so mad at me but he just was concerned if I was hurt from him landing on me. Altogether it was a fun and successful day. Now, only to get rid of this soreness!!!