Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Work is a fucking MESS!

Today has been a disaster in the office. Jason, Tag, and I are so fed up with Patrick. We ALL want him FIRED. He is disrespectful, he is lazy, he does not care, he drops the ball on a lot of shit, especially with customers and scheduling and more. He is just not a good team player and we no longer want him apart of the company. Shane, the owner, needs to grow some balls, quit crying about employee loyalty, and fire his ass. We have employees calling off on a day to day basis and yet they're still on the schedule, we have employees that can't get to work on time and they can't call in on time, employees are lying about being on site when they aren't. . .omg it's such a fucking mess. Shane needs to hire his own personal assistant that can be his bitch and do whatever the fuck he wants them to do so that we do not have to run around like chickens with our heads cut off because of his demands. Today, I was asked to go and pick up a guy who dropped of Shane's car to him so that I can bring him back to the office to get his car. Patrick, who could have brought him up to the office because they were in the same area, was apparently not able to do this. My car is not in good shape. Yes it runs and drives and I can get places in it but I DO NOT DRIVE IT ANYMORE THAN I HAVE TO. I have to stare at the street for potholes and bumps. The area he had me driving into - omg the streets are so fucking horrible. When he asked I hesitated and then agreed to doing it but now my right front tire has a big ass nail in it. Surprise, my tire is already going flat! Now, I have to worry about driving home with a semi flat tire on the same side as all the other damage. Fucking fantastic. I'm so happy about that. Anyways I've had enough of that shit today and I told Shane that I can no longer run errands like that because I can't drive my car in certain places because of the damage. He was understanding at least so that was nice.

I'm TIRED! I want to GO HOME! I've committed to writing a midterm paper about a topic that I'm finding is increasingly difficult to write about. It's pathetic too because it only has to be six pages with the references and the cover page included. That means I have four pages of written dialog on how women in the history of psychology and how their contributions have gone overlooked. It seems interesting and would be an awesome fucking paper if I wasn't restricting myself to six to eight pages. I could definitely go way further in depth and cover more women but it just doesn't work out that way.

Someone write my paper for me! lol [=

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Research and Fradulent Data

We watched a video today in my research class that discussed the problem of fraudulent data in research and it was flooring. There was a huge flurry, what scientists argued only few, discoveries of data that had been "cooked" or "trimmed" or faked in a way that seriously harmed the medical and scientific research fields. I was really surprised to see how common an issue this was, especially when my teacher gave us updated facts. She told us that only a small percentage of people would admit to questionable researching but when those peoples coworkers were questioned a HUGE percent of people would say that the person's methods were questionable! It's easy for them to cover up their own mistakes but they sure as hell are at the jump to calling the kettle black.

The most surprising piece of evidence for this whole idea of research scamming was that all the research that was done on the autism being linked to vaccinations have ALL been PULLED! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD MISTAKES AND ERRORS!!! Just to think how many people would say that they wouldn't get their child a vaccination because of the link to autism and now those links have been destroyed. . .can you even imagine how many children actually got sick because they did not receive the vaccination?!!

With the facts that my teacher gave us, falsifying data and having questionable research practices seems to be a common thing, even today. People are so fueled by their pressure to be successful, to see the results that they want to see, to find the results that the grant lenders want to see, to be productive enough so they can reach tenure at a school, to get grant money in the first place, ETC ETC ETC that they have to bring themselves to these desperate measures.

Moral of the story: BE AN INFORMED CONSUMER! If you want to try a new medicine or whatever then learn how to read the research that is provided on it and read the reviews and know that you could likely become a victim of research fraud!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Out with the old, in with the nothing? Plus my ramblings on internet addiction.

I've recently become really aggravated with people lately. So, I'm just blogging that I'm going to be doing some dumping out of the old. As of right now, I don't plan on bringing anyone new in. I just don't care for it.

I'm deleting my Facebook today. I would delete my myspace however, I've heard you have to jump through all these hoops to be able to do so and the fact that I never get on that bitch anyways would make it a waste of time. I'm just going to go through and delete all that shit that's on there. Pictures and all, of course after saving them.

The fact that I just want to be done with it is not the only reason. I'm disgusted with how addicted people are to the internet and social networks. First of all, you know damn well the only reason why you ask people to be your friend on those things is so that you can nose into their lives and know what they have been doing and where they are in life. Also, it's so you can compare where are you to where they are. Oh, so yeah, high school never ended huh? By the way, I don't need to know what the fuck you are doing in every minute of your life. I can't even comprehend the fact that a girl I know today was updating her status as she was getting an epidermal shot to induce her labor today. Are you that fucking addicted that you cannot take the time to leave your Facebook alone will you have your baby? How fucking pathetic. I'm also disappointed with the fact that people are so used to communicating on the internet that they no longer know how to properly communicate offline.

Anyways, I'm going to get on doing some more homework for the evening. Bye.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Job Apps

After doing the math for the salary that Shane has offered me I have decide that I should look into other opportunities just to see what I can get. Mostly because I will only be able to barely make it with that salary, and i know I still get commission with the other job however I do not want to rely on commission to make it. I have filled out like two or three applications. Unfortunately though I went through a lot of the cities in Colorado and it turns out that only one city is hiring for police officers right now. Fucking bonkers! Anyways, it almost looks like I'm going to have to stay with Shane til I find something else.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Well that didn't last long

Yesterday I had a total break down. While driving to work instead of school to do my study because the bad weather caused my campus to be closed I hit a brand new moon crater sized pot hole. Because there was medal sticking out from my accident when I hit the pothole my tire was sliced open. I had to call my boss to get a ride to the office and then the owner had a guy who does odd jobs for him put the donut on it and drive it up the office. I was soooo aggravated and fed up with everything that keeps fucking happening to me that I just broke down and started crying. I was so stressed out with how much money I've had to spend on this thing and then on top of that I lost 15 participants for my study and now am having to hope that they will resign up for the study on another date that I could not hold it in.

Last night i dreamt about insurance costs all night =[.

It blows for me right now, but hopefully shit is going to start turning around for me soon.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

A break from the anxiety that grips my brain on a daily basis

It's been awhile. . .I've been so ridiculously stressed out with school and work and a recent car accident that I have done nothing but try and prevent a massive break down. Here's the scoop on my current life:

School - I have started conducting my study for my experiment. So far, it is going pretty well, tomorrow is the second day of me meeting with participants so hopefully all runs smoothly. In the meantime I have also been working on the paper portions of this experiment and it's coming along. We have to do each section separately which is good because she gives us feedback on what changes we should make and stuff like that. Right now, I'm currently working on the methods section. My other classes are going pretty well. I got too good grades on a midterm and a take home exam in one class and I'm really enjoying that class. My other two online classes are like busy work and pretty damn boring but I have to have them.

Work - Going great! I sat down with the owner and discussed the future. He's planning on starting a new business and has my integrated into it. Where I would be bringing in the clients and making a percentage of the profits of that company plus a salary for the current job with the security place I have. Basically, with no set promises, if I continued working with this company and doing the other company as well I would be looking at making over $30,000 a year which is really great to me! I think it's a little less than what I would be making as a police officer but with everything that is going on right now with me there's no way in hell I'd be ready for the academy like I want to be so I just have to put that on hold. He generously offered to pay for a graduation present of a trip to Vegas for me for a couple nights where he pays for the flight and the hotel. He just said whoever I bring, which he assumed correctly to be Mark, would have to pay their share of the flight which is pretty damn cheap! He's also offered to loan me some money on a new car since I got in a car accident, which I will go over next, and am in need of a new car a little sooner than what I had planned. He's also offered a 2200 sq ft house for $800 a month to mark and I. Or, since Mark and I haven't really discussed living together, he's offered a loft to me as well. So, it's going really great!

Car accident - I was driving to meet Mark and made a left turn and a woman didn't even attempt to stop and definitely had time to and hit my car on the passenger back side right where the tire is. We had to replace the strut and pull out the tire flare and junk to make sure the tire doesn't rub but all in all my Deathbot is still up and running thank God! I basically almost had a panic attack that whole weekend because I thought for sure my car was done and I had no money to buy a new one. Mark and Shane offered to buy me a car and I would just pay them back but luckily I didn't have to do that. I was also extremely scared because after talking to my insurance adjuster I thought that for sure I was going to sued for being under insured and my insurance not covering all the injury costs but my dad spoke to a friend of his who is an adjuster and he said he would keep an eye on the claim but he doesn't think the injury costs will even come close to going over so that's a lot of relief! My main focus now is saving up a lot of money so that I can afford to buy my ass a new car in like two months when I graduate!

Everything else is going okay. I am far too stressed out about making sure I pass all my classes this semester and ensuring that I graduate on time to be worried about too much other shit. The fact that Shane is offering me a pretty good deal takes a giant load off my chest because I'm leaning towards staying with him for however long I need to in order to be prepared for what I want to do and I won't have to worry about trying to find a job, a place to live, and all that other shit that comes after you graduate. Lol. I like convenient easy shit that I can know with a little more certainty right now that I'm not going to regret in the long run.

btw, yaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy for new health care bill! [=

Monday, March 1, 2010

Tattoo Number 2


I got it done at a tattoo parlor and the guy was fucking amazing! He was gentle and considerate and really enjoyable to be around for over two hours of work. As scared as I was of the shading, it was no where near as bad as the outlining was. Right when he was finishing up was when it was getting sensitive and a little painful but the rest of the time was nothing. He was surprised because he said that he had always heard that the inside of the thigh was always the most tenderest spots but I didn't even flinch!

I'll post pictures soon. It's a grey and black shading, however right now it has a slight red tint, definitely turned down since we first finished, so I need to take new pictures.

It looks absolutely fantastic though! Mark has the guy doing a drawing up for his and we're going to see it on Friday. I'm excited because seeing me get mine has made Mark desperate to get his lol! His mom will SHIT BRICKS THOUGH! lol [=

Also, Mark bought a new couch and a new recliner. I'm FUCKING EXCITED for both because they are incredibly comfortable. They're faux leather and they like cup you and cuddle you when you sit. There is no possible way to sit wrong or be uncomfortable in this things. It fits us cuddling and everything! It's perfect! [= [= [=


School is quite overwhelming

I finally did get full approval for conducting my study from my teacher. Now all I have to do is get permission from the subjects pool administrator, which should be no problem, and then from there I have to reserve my room and start conducting. I haven't even got my materials together, and I definitely have not ran a trial run on this thing. I'm getting more and more anxious about it because not only am I doing the stuff for this class, which includes trying to prepare to conduct as well as continuing to write the paper and stuff, plus all my other school work - I'M STRESSED THE FUCK OUT! and unfortunately, I haven't been doing much working on homework to help these overwhelming feelings. I need money so I don't want to take off work but I think that I am definitely going to have to to be able to collect my data in a timely manner as well as complete my other work. Today, I looked at my planner and said FUCK because next week I have a fucking mid term. As much as I am excited about graduating this semester, I can not believe what lies ahead of me in the amount of the work that I have to do is incredibly depressing. Tonight sums up my life for the rest of the semester basically. When I got home from work at about 5 pm I played with Maddoxx for about fifteen minutes, then I ate dinner, then I tumbl'd for like ten minutes and then at 545 I started working on homework. I've taken short ten minute breaks but I'm still not done with everything. I should have been reading this weekend and not watching tv and doing bullshit. =/. I feel like I'm super behind in my history class, but I've read a whole chapter on stuff and we haven't even talked about it in class, however I have to remember we cover a chapter a class so by Thursday I have to have the next chapter read and by ready to go for the midterm on Tuesday of next week.

Ugh finding the balance is really hard. I've never had such a stressful semester of school in my entire life! My ten minute break is up. =/