Friday, November 27, 2009

What I'm thankful for

I know this is a day late but I was taking in all the time I could with my Babel before he left for Belize today for a week =[. Needless to say, I'm definitely not thankful that he is gone for so long and I'm going to miss him terribly. Maddoxx will be my only comfort. Here's the list.

I'm thankful for my determined mindset. Without it I would not be where I am today.
I'm thankful for my parents, loving and caring and supportive.
I'm thankful for my brother and sister, hardworking role models.
I'm thankful for my education.
I'm thankful for my car.
I'm thankful for my job.
I'm thankful for the little bit of money that I do make because it does help!
I'm thankful for the most amazing boyfriend I've ever had. I have some of my most favorites memories with him and I know there are so many more to come. I love him.
I'm thankful for my true friends. The ones that have lasted and the ones that are struggling to still last.
I'm thankful for the food that I receive on a daily basis.
I'm thankful for coke
I'm thankful for my medicine that I forgot to take this morning.
I'm thankful for the individuals who are working to make the country I live in safe.
I'm thankful for the many hard lessons in life I have learned, including NO SPEEDING
I'm thankful for alcohol
I'm thankful for my material things
I'm thankful for my entertainment. . .movies. music. games. poker. the internet. my phone.
I'm thankful for my puppy Maddoxx. how I love that little monster.


I went and saw the movie Precious last night. It was INCREDIBLE! I loved how touching it was. I hated the fact that her mother treated her like shit and I could not freaking figure out why. I really thought it was just because she has a child instead of having an education. Little did I know her HIV infected father had given her both her children and her mother treated her the way she did because she was jealous. Monique, the Precious actress which I never got her name on accident, and Mariah Carey were all AMAZING!!!!!!!!!It was so crazy to see how the mother abused the welfare system, how the grandmother did shit to protect her grandchild but would take care of her great grandchild, and thank God she did. The little down syndrome girl was the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I was so scared for Precious. I'm glad she found something so good for her with the alternative school because I don't think she would have ever gotten out from underneath her mother's thumb had she not.

This is an amazing story with amazing actresses/actors. Go! see it!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Twilight: New Moon

I went and saw the Twilight New Moon movie on Sunday. It was awesome. I really really loved how close to the book the directed stayed this time. My favorite part was seeing the wolves for the first time. Not just when Paul and Jacob transform and fight but also when all five of the wolves show up to protect Bella from Laurent. I love how awesome they all look because I was worried that the movie would not do them justice with their size and everything. Mark is definitely Team Jacob but I don't think I am. I think I lean more towards Team Edward because the love he has for Bella lasts for an eternity, literally. I think experiencing a love that lasts longer than the expected life time would be amazing. You get to experience so much together for so long. That's amazing. Jacob on the other hand is more subjective because although they imprint on their true love it doesn't last as long. I feel like it could change for some reason. . .like if the person they imprint on doesn't love them back. I really also liked how much Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson acted. They weren't huffing and puffing and doing the annoying breathing thing they did all through out the first movie. I don't really like Kristen Stewart but this movie definitely changed some of my opinion of her. Thank God for the new director. He did an amazing job. I'm looking forward to the next movie, but for some reason this series does not have me completely impatient like Harry Potter did and still does. I guess my total loyalty still lies with HP [=. It's kind of hard to focus on these movies because the love story is so emphasized and drawn out. I get that it's extremely important to the story and junk but I just feel like it's a little overdone. I think that Dakota Fanning did absolutely FABULOUS in this movie. I've seen some criticisms that she wasn't even scary but really from the story I didn't think she was suppose to be scary. I think she was suppose to be intimidating but very collected and that's what she was. She wasn't suppose to make you scared out of your wits just scare you in the sense that you don't really know what she is capable of and that's scary. The fight scene with the Volturi was a good thing to add into the movie however R. Pats got his butt kicked and I definitely would have expected more from him.

Thursday, November 19, 2009


I went and bought some used tires a couple weeks ago and this one PIECE OF SHIT fucking tire keeps going flat. It's really aggravating, because I don't have the time to take the shit over to the guy who sold it to me and tell him to replace it since it keeps going flat and my dad can't find anything wrong with it. It's overly aggravating. On top of that the Wells Fargo morons STILL have yet to send me my god damn credit card even though it was sent to me three days ago according to my email. I've been waiting for almost three weeks now. I think I'm more than entitled to be pissed off.

Mark and I are suppose to be going snowboarding this Saturday so I'm looking forward to that. But if we don't get to go, I'm going and changing my fucking bank. I can't stand those fucking morons.

I think tomorrow I'm going to call in sick. I need to go to the pawn shop and and some clothing shops to sell some of my shit so I can have some money to pay for these tickets. I need to make a list of everything I'm going to sell.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Mother Hubbard

The month of November hates me! I got ANOTHER speeding ticket today. I'm overly pissed!! Not only would I had never gotten this fuckin ticket if I hadn't spoken up to Jason sooner and told him that I am no longer going to be able to go on these fucking missions for him every week going to the bank and taking him places and shit because I don't have the gas or the money for that shit but also because shit like this happens. The only reason why I was speeding was because I didn't know what the speed limit was where I was because I rarely go that way and the sun was really bright so I couldn't see any signs so I assumed that it was 35-40 mph. Granted even if it was 40 I was still going two over BUT they wouldn't have pulled me over for that. I really was following along at the same speed of the people next to me and behind me which I consider the flow of traffic. I am also overly pissed because the officer pulled all SIX CARS including mine over for speeding ALL AT THE EXACT SAME SPEED. I just don't fucking get that. I think it's bullshit! On top of that. . .the ticket should only cost me 80 but they have decided to tack on another 30 dollars for SURCHARGES! They use the technique of pay this early and you don't have to go to court, you don't have to pay court fees ETC ETC but BAM THEY STILL CHARGE YOU THE SAME COURT FEES IN SURCHARGE FEES. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK?!?!?!?!

God is trying to tell me that I should have spoken up sooner. I should have told Jason way before that I can not afford gas wise to run the errands for the office because they are inconvenient, out of my my way, and NOT IN MY DUTIES OF RESPONSIBILITY. He is paid a salary for a fucking reason. Running those errands are included in his SALARY. . .NOT IN MY $8 an hour. Fuck that nonsense.

I'm not blaming him for my ticket. I shouldn't have been speeding, but I also wouldn't have been speeding if I would have known instead of assumed the actual speed limit. Tomorrow I should be finding out what the CA in Aurora can do for my 20 over speeding ticket and then I'll know how much I'll be forking out on that. This new one is going to cost my $110 and 2 points off my license. =[ Hopefully I can get my other one down just as far. After that I can't get SHIT for speeding tickets or anything that will cause me to lose more points because I CAN NOT lose my license.

I must say though as bad as it pissed me off I could be faring worse. On my way home I saw a guy who had flipped his SUV on the highway. I had to sit in traffic so of course it was making me even madder, but then I pulled up and saw CARNAGE and it made my day just that much better. It's so nice to actually sit in traffic for something that is TOTALLY WORTH IT. I know it's bad of me to say it but don't worry. . .I'm going for the record of the most tickets in one month. [=

Monday, November 16, 2009

Drugs, Alcohol, and Rape

I'm watching Intervention and this is probably the worst episode I've ever seen. This girl has been an alcoholic for seven years and uses pain killers. I guess six months before either the recording or the airing of this episode she was contacted by police and got her world fucking ROCKED! They showed up and showed her videos of a guy RAPING HER and she had NO FUCKING CLUE!

I can not even imagine going through something like that. How the fuck did you allow yourself to go that far BELOW ROCK BOTTOM that you can't even remember being raped because of your own drug and alcohol abuse. Being date raped is a whole other story that I'm not touching on here because that is not voluntary in the sense that you know what you are exposing yourself to voluntarily when you use alcohol or drugs. Seeing yourself being raped in a video taped by the guy who did it to you is quite the shattering piece of information. I know it would tear my life apart. Still though, I'm still extremely shocked at the simple fact that this woman did not stop drinking or using pain medicines after discovering what happened to her while she was so far gone off them. She in fact made her problem even worse. Obviously this has been her only coping mechanism that she thinks works best for her but how can you NOT WANT TO CHANGE THAT when you find something out like that?!

I really truly hope that if I was ever in her shoes that I would realize that I needed to make some serious changes in my life if I was ever informed that I had been raped without being aware of it in any kind of way. I hope that if I couldn't figure that out on my own that my parents, my family, my friends would make me learn it involuntarily. We spend a lot of time digging ourselves out of the holes that we dig ourselves into throughout our entire life. I know if I was where she is at. . .I would be desperate for someone to help me dig myself out. I have to say that if any of my friends or families were at where she is I would do everything I could to save them even if that's the last thing that they want. I couldn't let myself live with the fact that I didn't do everything I could for them if I didn't.

I gotta tell Tina about this shit because she doesn't cope with shit as healthy as she could. She's definitely no where near being an alcoholic or anything like that but sometimes she worries me because when she is upset about something she turns to alcohol and I don't want her to get to that level.

Twilight vs Harry Potter

Nothing infuriates me more than people comparing these two series in any kind of way. I honestly believe that they are both equally good in every sense possible. The story lines are completely different, the characters are completely different, EVERYTHING IS SO DIFFEERENT that there is no possible line of comparison. I LOVE LOVE LOVE both. I think that people need to shut the fuck up saying one is better than the other just because vampires are better than magic or vice versa.

I love all of the actors in each series [except for Kristen Stewart]. I love all the characters in each series. I love both story lines. I love that they are totally different stories because it leaves me options to explore my imagination while reading in different ways.


Sunday, November 15, 2009

Lazy Weekends

Next is going to be a little hectic. I'm looking forward to getting it out of the way though. I have two tests and a paper due. Plus I wanted to try and get my ticket taken care of next week so I don't have to worry about that shit. . .probably Friday or so. The week after that is Thanksgiving Break. I'm super happy about that week because I'm getting a raise on the 27th. It's only a dollar but shit a dollar goes a long way lol. I'm literally two or three weeks out from finishing my second to last semester in college.

On Friday night Mark and I went to play poker at our regular dive bar. I was really proud because I actually took fourth place. Not that great but in a sense its an awesome feat for me. We then went to Shot Gun Willies, a strip club. Lol it was actually awesome! The cover charge wasn't that bad. The girls were sexy, even the cocktail waitresses. Their only downfall is they're expensive ass drinks and their $6.50 fee at the ATM. That's bullshit. Last night we played Trivial Pursuit with Kyle and Tristin boys against girls. Girls lost but we put up quite a fight.

It was my birthday a couple weeks ago. I got a Macy's gift card and am super excited to spend it. However, the Marc Ecko purse that I fell deadly in love with is not going to get covered by my gift card. I'm desperately waiting for it to go on sale. It's quite delicious. I hope it goes down soon.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

New junk. . .inspiration

I just saw one of the best videos I've seen in a long time. . .Lady Gaga - Bad Romance. If you haven't seen it you need to see it. If you don't like. . .you need to see it. The shit is just bad ass. . .she fucking murdered it. I also heard one of the most inspirational songs I've ever heard tonight. Hero - Skillet is AMAZING!!! It definitely makes me feel even more happier about continuing to pursue my life long dream of becoming a police officer. I don't give a fuck about what people say about cops. . .all I have to say is when I make as one. . . if you treat me like shit, you better expect to get treated like shit yourself! Think of it this way. . .police officers are usually the first individuals to arrive on the scene of an accident, these are the individuals that take the first proper steps to save your life. That will be me someday. I take pride in the fact that I have always known what I want to do with my life and the fact that if I didn't make it I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK ELSE I WOULD DO?!?! Other people on the other hand, spend the majority of their life wandering around trying to figure out what they want to do. Wouldn't you rather have a cop on your side that has known their whole life that this is what they were made to do or someone who just decided to do the job because that was what was available for them at the time? I'd definitely want a cop who wants to be doing what they do instead of a cop who has total burn out because it's never what they wanted to do in the first place.

I also downloaded Shakira's new album and I really like her music. Her voice sounds kind of whiny to me sometimes but I still really like her. I really wish I could sing in spanish. . .it's sounds quite beautiful. I officially am dedicating the song Everything - Michael Buble to Mark [=.

Ranting at Work

Surprisingly, I'm still really aggravated with the happenings of last night. I invited Mark over and asked him to bring his poker set so we could play after I finished my ma's hair. He comes over. . .doesn't have the poker set. SMFH. I really looked forward to hanging out with him playing poker instead of just fuckin' watching tv because watching tv is basically what I do every night when I come home from work/school. I wanted to take my mind off the extreme amount of school work I have been working on at work with a fun game of poker with my boyfriend. Then, while I was finishing up a study guide real quick while waiting for my mom, Mark told me that I was lucky he even came over because he was playing his new video game. WELL GO PLAY YOUR FUCKIN GOD DAMN VIDEO GAME THEN SHIT! I'm sorry it was such an inconvenience for me to MAKE you COME OVER TO MY HOUSE and step away from your game. Honestly, I did not know that a video game can be that fucking important in someone's life, especially someone that I am involved with. Anyways, I found this comment extremely disrespectful and did not even want to be around him since I was taking away from his fuckin video game. After I finished my ma's hair I invited Mark to play a game of poker with some bootleg ass chips that we have. He was mid dinner so I was patient with that but as soon as we started playing he was staring like a fucking zombie at the god damn tv. After every live play he would just stare at the fucking tv. I dealt a hand once and he sat there staring at the tv so I said fuck it, quit playing, let him watch tv by himself and went to try and restore my old computer so I could get some old photos off it. While doing that I made a joke about how it was a good thing I didn't ask Mark to bring some stuff that I needed from his house because he would have forgotten like the poker set. He threw a fit. I left him to watch tv by himself and went to study. He then came over and said that I was being mean and grouchy. I FUCKING WONDER WHY?!?!!?

He can now have the rest of this damn month to himself with his fucking video games, cuz this is not the only that is going to be new for him this month. I don't really care to hang out with him if he thinks I'm lucky to be able to get any of his time while these games come out. Have fun in Belize ass hole. . .I'll see ya when I see ya.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Happy Veterans Day

Despite the fact that I do not agree with these wars. . .it was not necessarily your choice to be in them. I support you doing what you have to do to make yourself safe and make our country safe so FUCKING DO WORK! thanks for everything. . .you may not feel like it a lot of the time but your efforts are truly appreciated. [=

oh yeah good news

Remember how I was ranting and raving about how the police department never took care of this fuckin parking ticket and I was given to a collections agency. . .turns out. . .it was for a different parking ticket.

No worries though. . .I also paid this ticket. The fuckin dumb ass violations dept even stamped the check that I sent them acknowledging that I paid the damn thing and I paid it on time. Working on getting the whole situation taken care of with the MORONS at the collection agency.
Yes, they are morons.

Slight bad news, I am going to blow up Wells Fargo if I don't get a fucking bank card from them in mail tomorrow. I have been waiting two weeks for this piece of shit and if I don't get it immediately I'm going to be face fuckin bitches with my strap on dildo.

Good day sir.

Told You I'd be back

Maybe I bore you? My fault, but whatev.

First and foremost, I need to congratulate myself on my performance in school lately. Although I was unprepared for one test. . .I still got a 95% on it. The highest I've gotten yet in that class. Regardless, I may possibly end up with an A in that class and I'd super happy about that. I also got a 100% in my Drugs and Cravings class that I'm still really proud about. We have another test coming up actually this coming Monday that I've been studying for and should be ready when the time comes around. Research and Methods has been quite a struggle for me and despite the lack of motivation that I have to attend the class, I do have a lot of motivation for the paper that we are writing for it right now. I think I should get at least a high B if not an A on this damn thing. Sucked on the last test but I know I need to get my ass in gear on studying for the shit and I'll do better. My child psychology class has been a fucking breeze! I have a test that I need to take tomorrow or Friday for it but other than that. . .I don't have to do much else except for the rest of the tests. This is exactly why I love online classes. You can pace yourself, trust yourself to make deadlines, and you don't have as much work and effort for studying for tests because they are open book open note.

Onto better and more entertaining things. I need some things to be writing about so to better prepare myself to avoid writers block I plan on making up a list of things that I can discuss.

1. my relationship
2. legalization of marijuana
3. juvenile drug use
4. female negative exploitation in the media especially with this UNM soccer chick
5. movie reviews (law abiding citizen, zombieland, etc)

my mind is hitting a dead zone at this point in time. I'll be back shortly. In the meantime. . .open your itunes and listen to some hold music for me.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I'll be back

this time it's for real because I need somewhere to put down some changes that I am going to be making in my life.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Can't fuckin stand

FUCKIN LAZY ASS MORONS. I got a parking ticket when I volunteered for the police department for like a week and they told me several times it would be taken care of. . .OF COURSE THEY NEVER FUCKING TAKE CARE OF IT AND now I'm being taken to the collections agency for $60.00 when the fucking ticket was originally $25.

I threw a fucking fit on the guy who told me they were going to get it taken care of timely manner today and this on all on them. I told him I wanted a fucking letter that states I was never being held responsible for the ticket but the department was going to take care of it and that I am not at fault for not having this ticket taken care of in a timely manner. I AIN'T PAYING SHIT! Don't sit there and fucking assure people on something if it aint fucking going to get done. I can't stand the fucking fact that if you want anything done and done right you gotta do it your GOD DAMN SELF.

This fuckin prick is so lucky I don't take this shit to his chief because this is FUCKING BULLSHIT!!!

Monday, November 2, 2009

I disappeared for a long time

But now I'm back. I just had a writer's block I guess. I uhm am doing good. School is doing good, just got a perfect 100% on a test in my drugs and cravings class that I absolutely love. Work is going okay. . .I stay broke because it doesn't pay shit. I am just waiting until I graduate. Mark and I are still together one year and going strong. I'm a little irritated with him right now as a matter of fact because we're still dealing with that bullshit from his "bestfriend" Dane, who keeps pulling dumb shit and not making an effort on their friendship and just walking all over Mark. For example, this past Halloween we were going to have a halloween party and Mark invited Dane like a couple weeks in advance. Mark told him about it, Dane immediately responded asking about the exact date, Mark told him and then after that Dane NEVER SAID SHIT BACK. It's just extremely disrespectful especially when you're mid convo and you can't even say No I don't think we'll be there but maybe or something so fuckin simple. So anyways, Mark and him are suppose to be hanging out tonight. I really don't hope that Dane actually does get over his disgusting ego and apologize mainly because I could CARELESS for him but at the same time I do hope he does because I'm tired of Mark dealing with that bullshit. It makes me so mad. So I'm irritated because of that and because he can't even take two seconds to respond back to me while he hangs out with this fuckin prick that constantly treats him like shit.


Maddoxx is doing good too. He makes my day like every day. My car is malfunctioning on me.