I am DESPERATE

for another tattoo. I have one on my right side of a dove. I love doves and it symbolizes my determinism to be successful in everything I do in life. On my left side I would like this flower design I found. It's two flowers that symbolize my sister and I and then a tribe symbol connecting them that symbolizes my brother. Then I think on my arm I would like to have an image of my cleats because of how important soccer has been throughout my entire life. I'm not sure if that's where they will go though I may find a better spot. 

I think tattoos are amazingly sexy. The best location on males is on their neck. I tried to convince Mark to get one there but he is definitely not having it lol. He does have the tattoo that he wants in mind and as soon as it gets designed properly it's going to be AMAZING and SEXY! I'm excited for him lol. 

Terminator

Mark, Kyle, Tristin, and I went to see the movie last night. I have never watched a Terminator movie before and I am still pretty confused about the whole story line however the movie is DEFINITELY worth going to see. The action was awesome. I loved everything about it except for the fact that I was confused and it seems to be never ending because there was no true resolution at the end. However, I would absolutely recommend going to see it [= 

Quickie. . .

I am very disappointed with my grades this summer. I am normally and A and B student however I got B's in all four classes. Proud that I am done with them all and do not have to retake anything or anything like that but I expected A's in at least two. Definitely motivation to work harder this summer on the classes I am in. They start the 26th of this month which I'm not too happy about because I'll be in Mexico still. I actually have to take my laptop and my book for one because I have a test due on the 30th that's online. I really need to work hard in this one certain class because I need it for a prerequisite to another class I am praying to God doesn't close before I can sign up for it in the Fall. If I don't get this class I won't graduate on time. I'll be PISSED!!!! 

I am getting about 2100 back on the loan. . .so that's nice. I have to go pick up that check as well as my paycheck from the store today. 

On another hand, I'm infuriated with my ma. The other day I came home and she had an attitude with me for no reason. She went on to say how I am so disrespectful all the time to both her and my dad but would not tell me how. However, when I try to bring up anything that she has done wrong or disrespectful to me. . .it is ALWAYS my fault. She can not accept responsibility for her own actions, but yet expects me to? It's quite unfair. On top of that, she did the most disrespectful thing a parent can do to their child. She told me that I would be unsuccessful in my future. Unforgivable by my standards. I really want nothing to do with her in my future mostly because she doesn't regret saying it and further more she is not apologetic for it. Regardless of how she is disrespectful I can admit my wrong doings and would be more than happy to however she refuses to do the same and I think it's only fair if it's an equal thing. No matter what with her, she is always in the right, never does or says anything wrong and it is ALWAYS YOUR FAULT. Ridiculous. I'm so sick and tired of it. 

The guns I like.

This is a FN FNP 9mm 16 round double and single action. I loved how it was small so comfortably for my hand. The slide and hammer were easy to pull back and un-cock. It was semi heavy. . .heavier fully loaded. The materials it's made out of make the gun feel steady however the guy explained that it may be unsteady shooting and aiming because of the heaviness. It is $650.
This is a Sig Sauer 9mm. It is a lighter material but same comfort level as the FN with pulling the cock and hammer back and forward. I like the handle. The materials it's made out of however make it feel a little more flimsier than the FN but not as bad as some of the other ones I handled. This one is $499.

I've taken a look at some other ones online that I like but that I need to see in person and handle. I would also like to get a feel for these on how they shoot but they don't have any that I can rent that are them so I just have to see something similar. I can't wait [=. Mark got a new gun today. I think it was a Sig Sauer 9mm too. It's really nice. He got a laser and a light to put on it that's really cool too. I'm so freakin JEALOUS!!!!

Maddoxx Playing with himself in the mirror

Michael Vick

This dumb ass just got out of jail today. He should never be allowed to own another animal again. You can almost label him a psychopath because of what he did to those dogs. ]= Sad day.

Proud

First of the nuggets because they played an amazing game. We may have a chance of taking game two despite how freaking tired they looked.

Two of the fact that I did not get wasted last night when we went to the bar and then to Jason's to play pool. 

Mark and Kyle were though. 

FOUR DAYS LEFT TIL MEXICO HAHAHAAH

Disappointing News

I was too late to enter the contest. Very sad I know. Today was actually the last day to enter and both my best friend Janet and I tried to enter and it wouldn't allow us saying it was too late. DAMNIT! We are for sure doing it next year though. [= Hell YEAH!

Maxim's Hometown Hotties.

At the urging requests of Mark. . .ahahahah jk. . .I have decided to enter into the Maxim Hometown Hottie's contest. I am reading over the rules today and then when we get back from Mexico and maybe after I color my hair back to blonde [oh btw blondes have WAY more fun so I'm definitely going back] then Mark is going to help me take the picture I am going to send into the contest. I have total confidence that I will smash any bitch from Colorado. [= Wish me luck. I'll post the pic once we get it. 

The Hills

Spencer + Heidi = DUMBEST, WORST WEDDING EVER. 

I give the marriage 6 months tops. They have no friends because they have managed to isolate each other from everyone they had. . .they're so dependent on each I could honestly say that they probably do have a abnormal psychological issue with dependency on each other. It's quite pathetic as well. I can't believe that Heidi would allow her self to be made a fool of time after time as well as just drop her best friends for some lame ass dude. So disappointing because I know in the back of her mind she still knows she can do so much better. And, a SHITTY as proposal for someone who is afraid of heights. . ."oh I'll take her on a ferrace wheel. . ." I would have had a panic attack and probably started crying. Not only is Heidi dumb for dropping her friends but she proved herself a materialistic retard by saying that the ring he gave her was her favorite thing in the whole world and that it CURED their relationship basically. Pull your fucking head out of the clouds Heidi. . .this is not going to be fairy tale come true where you get to live happily ever after. 

The Day

When the days comes that I graduate not only the academy but also the probation period of becoming an officer. . .I will be fully happy and complete. This is the day that I LIVE for. . . the day I can wear this: 

Sexiest Bitches [=

Victoria Beckham
Beyonce
Angelina Jolie
Rihanna
Jessica Biel
Jessica Alba
Eva Longoria
Megan Fox. 

Angels and Demons

If you read the book and you really liked it. . .DON'T go see the movie. Mark and I were very disappointed that the director changed SO MUCH in the movie. I can't believe that Dan Brown would allow so much to be changed from his original story. It seems as though he just accepted whatever money they gave to him for it and said "have your way with it". The story is not a street girl that you can treat as you please and dispose of without a second thought. COME ON! The economy is bad atleast entertain us with something consistent. =\


Now. . .I just must wait for TRANSFORMERS 2 to come out.

Shopping!!!

I WANNNTTTT IT

I LOVE IT!!!!

hm. . .I need capris. . .they're on sale too

Love these bracelets.

She is ROCKIN' that and I think it's so cute.

OMG Mark would love this! It's reasonably priced too so I might get it

I Love jeans like these. They look so comfy

I'm trying to kill some time before I have to shower and get ready to go out tonight.

Friends.

Tonight Mark and I and some friends [hopefully] are suppose to be going out to a bar to drink and celebrate the semester being over. I'm kind of bothered by a couple that we hang out with on a regular basis. Don't get me wrong I love hanging out with them and they're great people I just get frustrated because it seems like anytime we hang out, we HAVE TO BE downtown. It's really convenient for them because they live downtown and they prefer that atmosphere I guess. . .but downtown gets EXPENSIVE! especially for a poor college student who feels absolutely horrible when her boyfriend pays for all her drinks. I love hanging out with them because they are such fun people to be around but I just wish they would be more open to hanging out closer to where Mark or I or Kyle and Tristin live because it's more convenient for us from time to time. I want to hang out with them but I feel like I can't because they want to hang out downtown and I have said that I am not going out downtown again until sometime after Mexico. I just can't afford it especially when I have to pay Mark back for Mexico. Hopefully they come out tonight. I haven't seen em in a while and I know that Mark and Dane really want to hang because they haven't had a chance to lately.

BTW. . .Mexico is in 10 days. It can't come soon enough you have no idea!

White House|Black Market

I quit today. I went in and told them I did not go to the training session because I felt that my final was more important and that school is my first priority and it was unfair of them to not acknowledge that. Her response was that they were flexible with me for my request for Mexico and everything else so they expected me to be flexible with them and I explained that vacation and school are seperate. She was pissed but I expected her to be. . .they have to rearrange their WHOLE schedule now. I'm definitely happier now though. I told the courts today that I would have a new schedule for them since I was quitting my second job so hopefully I'll be able to pick up more hours. We'll see though. I'm waiting to see if I really want another second job until I figure out my class load, whether or not I really want to volunteer with the police department. I wish the economy wasn't so bad so I could just work at like a bar on the weekends but other people who are looking for jobs that are more available will be hired over me for sure. =[

Poor Tina still hasn't found a job yet. I feel bad for her because it's been so long and although her dad told her its okay for her to ask for money from him she does not want to have to do that because she does not want to have to be dependant on him. I totally understand that but at the same time she failed to explain to him that he was hindering her from getting a job by throwing a fit when she told him that she was going back to Texas for a couple months to work at a summer camp. I don't know. . .California just apparently is a really hard place to find a job right now. Our friend Becky is considering joining the Navy because it's so bad. I keep giving Tina options that she can try out and its so frustrating because she's like no. . .I won't like that. . .blah blah blah. It's stupid because she should just be trying to get whatever she can get. I get frustrated because I feel that she hasn't been trying all of the outlets that she has available but I also know how frustrating it is to be without a job. I just gotta pray for her and hope she gets something soon because I hate knowing how unhappy my best friend is.

GRADUATED!

I successfully finished my junior year at college today. I took my last final at 4 15. I am hoping for atleast a B in that class. I got an A on the last paper that we wrote and I studied really hard for the final and I think that I did a really good job on it. I know that I forgot one thing on atleast two questions of the essay part and I know that there were some parts of the multiple choice that I did not learn at all mostly because I missed the last lecture. Oh well. . .there's no way I could have made less than a B- on the class.

Anyways. . .this was the final test of my junior year. I am officially a SENIOR in COLLEGE. I have three semesters left that include this semester. I am really proud of myself and my hardwork. I am completely determined to graduate on time and will do everything in my power to ensure that I do. [=

Tomorrow night is the celebration. It's ON BITCHES!

Qutting. . .

I will be quitting White HouseBlack Market tomorrow. I really am against their policies of forcing items that aren't needed onto people in order for the store to profit. It's hard times and making people spend money that they may not really have or money that they may need later makes me feel guilty. I guess because it would really bother me if I went into a store where the workers were shoving things into my fitting room getting me to spend as much moeny as possible. I think that if I was personally benefitting from it more than what I am. . .because if we make an over 201.00 dollar sale we make a BONUS that increases as the amount of the sale increases. It starts out at a dollar. WOOPTY FREAKIN DOO. Also, I realized that they feel they are my first priority, which is DEFINITELY WRONG! My first priority is school and I had a final today. I also was required to attend a training session during the time that I had to be turning in a paper for a final. My managers insisted on me pushing my paper off onto someone else so that I could attend the training. Although I did do this and still did not attend because I could not find the place, I feel that they have failed to acknowledge that they are not the top priority. I think its a better decision to quit this job as well because I think during the summer and next fall, if I get the classes I want, I will hopefully be able to pick up more hours at the courts which would be great. They pay more. . .I love the job. . .and they know and respect my priorities. I think that if the opportunity presents itself I may consider taking on another job at somewhere like a bar where I can make a lot of fast cash to save. I don't want to jump into anything though until I know what my class load is going to be like for both semesters. Tomorrow is the day. I am scheduled to work but despite the feeling that I get of me being rude by not giving a two week notice I think it's only fair when they were so inconsiderate of my school. Wish me luck.

Almost had a breakdown

I was watching Robot Chicken and it hinted at them being cancelled or ending their show. Although I havent really watched it lately. . .I would MISS IT SO MUCH! I freakin love that show and if you haven't watched or don't like it. . .YOU'RE FUCKIN CRAZY!

You Are My Rock.

I'm such a train wreck. I'm such a bitch to you sometimes. . .mean to you for no reason without warning. I'm so impatient and demanding. I can be confusing. . .I can be neglectful at times, but at other times I can nag. 

You are so patient. You are so understanding. You are so accepting. You are so generous. You are so open minded. You are so thoughtful. You are so real. You are so full of knowledge. You are so romantic. You are so old-school. You have such a great humor. You are so caring. You are so deserving of so much more. You teach me how to be a better me. You make me feel like the women I know I want to and can be. You accept my flaws. 

I want you to know that I think about you almost all day. I am constantly happy to be around you which is weird for me because the only other person I can be around so much is Tina. I haven't questioned my feelings for you in a while. There is no emotional roller coasters with you. . .I mean we've had one serious argument that was easily solved. I know for certain that I do not want to lose you, despite the fact that I still hold back [lol i think that is solvable as well]. I want to give you every part of me but I'm scared to take that jump. Everything else comes so easy with you and I love that about our relationship. This is by far the best relationship I've ever had. I'm so incredibly happy. . .just simply to have such an amazing man apart of my life. . .wonderful. . .amazing. . .

Amazing Race. . .

OMG! I am so freakin disappointed you don't even know. I was soooo rooting for Margie and Luke, the mom and deaf son from Colorado, to win. I think they were such an amazing team that you can not even begin to break the bond that they developed. I can't believe that Luke took so long on the road block. I really wish he had asked Victor instead of Cara because that is what allowed the two stupid red headed evil ass bitches to take second place. I can't believe that Victor and Tammy even won because Luke was SOO far ahead in the last challenge. I'm atleast very happy that them two bitches Jaime and Cara did not win. I don't even know why they were allowed on the show. They were so rude to EVERYONE! They don't deserve to travel around the world because they do not accept different cultures and languages for what they are. I can't believe how disrespectful they were to others throughout the whole race. They did not deserve second place and they should have been disqualified for the way they treated people. I hope they watch themselves and realize how much of an ass they made of themselves. They showed their true colors and I hope the people who were friends with them realized the kind of people they really are. Anyways. . .I nearly cried when I didn't see Luke and Margie standing on the platform as the first team to arrive, winning a million dollars. They won some great prizes though. Tammy and Victor freakin' DOMINATED so good for them. Congratulations to them on winning and a clean, fair, and respectful race. They're hard work and great sportsmanship definitely deemed them deserving of the great prizes and trips that they won as well as the million dollars. 

Spock & Kirk-ness [lol]

Mark and I went to see Star Trek last night. I went in knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about Star Trek. I actually liked it. The effects were pretty cool. . .action scenes were good. . .a little comedy mixed in some. It was kind of cheesy in some points but I kind of expected that. Definitely worth seeing [=. I may actually watch future Star Trek movies. 

The thing I am even more excited about is that FUCKING AMAZING!!!!! new Transformers movie that is coming out. I can not even explain how excited I am. I watched the first one a million times and am not done yet so you know I will also be watching this one a gazillion times. I'm a little worried though because it looks like Optimus Prime dies and that will be so sad that I will probably actually cry. hahahaha. I take this movie so seriously that I will be like the people who are die hard fans of Star Trek and dress up in like full Transformer outfits and cuss anyone out who talks to me or at all in the movie theatre. 

As a side note. . .GI JOE looks pretty fucking awesome too. I am looking forward to Angels and Demons however next weekend. I thought the book was freaking amazing and I have heard some disappointing things about the plot changing some and the makers changing the names of some of the characters but we will see. I really don't even want to hear rumors about it anymore. I liked the first one a lot but I think this one is going to be a lot better. I'll let you know how it goes. [= 

Finals Week. . .

I've been preparing for finals. I have two actual finals, Abnormal Psychology [which should be pretty easy] and then Group Prejudice which is the one I've been working the hardest on. I think I got a B on the last one and then I got a C on the first one. . . I got a B on my first paper and have not received my second paper yet probably because I did not go to class on Thursday but I'm thinking it was probably a B too. I'm really hoping that's the case because I'll be at least be shooting for a B on the final and a B in the class. Having to work though so much lately is taking away from my focus and memory [sucks].

AWH! I'm missing amazing race! 

White House|Black Market Job

I have been thinking and I definitely have decided to quit the store job. I have an opportunity to hopefully become a cocktail waitress again at this bar right by Mark's apartment that we go to a lot. It has a really good crowd, a good atmosphere, really nice people who work there, and I would love to make more money in one night than I do in two weeks again. I'm looking for the chance to save up a lot more money in a shorter amount of time. This is the type of a job a full time student should have right now. . .it's a good part time spot to just SAVE SAVE SAVE and that's all I really want to do. I know my parents are going to necessarily approve and working late is definitely going to suck but I just have to keep reminding myself that it is going to be worth it in the long run. I feel kind of bad quitting a job I basically just started, however at the same time, when I quit that job there I will be presenting someone else an opportunity to get a job so that's definitely a positive. 

I have to go eat, go to Mark's, watch movies, pig out on junk food, and study for finals next week. Hope you guys enjoy your weekend! [= 

Police Officer

I just wanted to explain how badly I want to be a police officer. I can not even begin to explain the feelings that go through my entire body when I think about my future in this career. I don't really know why my desire is so strong for this but I'm glad that it is and I take pride in the fact that I have a definite plan on where I want to go with my life. A lot of people laugh at me when I tell them I want to be a police officer because I'm 5'2" and I weight like 120 lbs so I don't seem like the typical officer and I guess it doesn't seem like I will have the strength and authority to handle the people I will have to deal with. I'll admit that because I have no freaking motivation to work out I am pretty weak, especially my upper body, and I have full intentions on working on this but I just need to get some time after classes for this semester and before the summer semester starts in order to obtain this motivation. I just find it really offensive when people laugh at me because its so disrespectful to discount someone's abilities. Anyways. . .I just thought I would touch on the amazing feelings that I have when I think about myself as being a police officer. 

Here's How I Think [lol]

Why does the sun lighten your hair but darken your skin? Why is it a pair of pants but only one bra? If you take an Asian person and spin him around does he become disOriented? Why do they put Braille dots on a drive up ATM? If Con is the opposite of Pro then is Congress the opposite of Progress? Why do doctors call what they do practice?

Gold Digger Controversy

I decided what to do with the whole gold digger assumption deal with Mark. This whole situation is our first fight in the 7 to 8 months [who is really counting anyways lol] that we have been together. . .I think that relationships are much healthier with fights so that's a plus. Mark is my rock, literally. I am one of the most independent people I know however this is the happiest I have ever been in a relationship. My feelings for him are legit and there is no possible way that I could just flatline him. Plus, he's a really amazing person and a great friend as well so even if I had decided to break up I value his friendship so flatlining would be uncalled for. My first instinct to flatline someone who offends me is because I am the type of person to not let ANYONE walk all over or offend me in any way and allow them to just get away with it like it's nothing. I stand up for myself and my beliefs and I take pride in the fact that I am very opinionated and am not scared to speak up. Mark and I are definitely staying together and there's NO FUCKING WAY I'm not going to Mexico. Today, I was really bored in court so I drew a picture for all us who are going of Cancun, Mexico with us on the beach with a beer pong table and an open bar with unlimited alcohol. It's freakin awesome. . .there's a shark in the water with little fishies and a boat lol. Maybe I'll upload it later when I take a picture of it. For now though, things are normal and going great as usual. 

Separate updates. . .this is Dead Week for me so this is technically my last day of classes and next week is finals week. I only have two finals because one is a take home final and the other is a group project. Nice! I am looking into finding a scholarship through the local police department that I would like to work at for next year. Hopefully they have one if not I gotta try and get some grants and other scholarships. I am also looking into applying for the Honors Society for my last year. . .I know I should have applied way sooner but I just am so doubtful of getting accepting and having wasted my time applying. Looking forward to success! 

Now I must watch The Hills!

The United States News

If you haven't stopped reading or watching the United States News casts you know you need to. They are all so biased and dramatic and out of control. The proof is obvious with this swine flu epidemic. They are blowing up a string of influenza, otherwise known as the flu, as like a break out of a highly contagious disease like AIDS that you can catch just from breathing. They're reporting about all the deaths in Mexico, where there is HORRIBLE health care, and neglecting to report that cases that have popped up outside of Mexico have been treated and have had a FULL recovery. The news picks and chooses the worst sounding material and decides that it is what you want to hear or see. They're casts aren't really as informational as they seem because they leave so many details out. The stories they decide to cover that are positive or shed good light seem so forced and fake. . .they're just time fillers for the lack of more dramatic shit that they have to report on. The US news is not your only source of being informed about what is going on around our world. Personally, I read and watch the BBC News. I would recommend watching this or any other news that is outside of the United States and has no political affiliation here. 

As for the Swine Flu and any scheduled trips to Mexico. . .I would say go. . .as long as you have safe health care. If you do get sick watch out for stronger symptoms, especially pneumonia like symptoms and other breathing problems. Once you do think you are sick wear a mask and practice very good hygiene and see a doctor. You CAN be TREATED and you CAN be CURED and you CAN have a FULL RECOVERY, however you will not be immune to it ever because there are so many different strings of the flu they can't design an immunity. [if I do decide to go based off a separate matter] I will still go as long as the border stays open, which I honestly don' believe that it will close based on the fact that the World Health Organization is advising against closing any borders as well as Obama. The US is just trying to scare people out of going to Mexico because they want to boost tourism in the US therefore boosting only our economy. Suprise Surprise the US is so selffissshhh!