Thursday, April 30, 2009

New layout. New songs.

So I finally got around to changing up the design and the music that's been on here forever. I was looking specifically for songs that make me feel better. I think I made some great choices! I wasn't looking for anything new because I'm severly disappointed with a lot of the shit that is coming out now. However I would definitely recommend taking a listen to Chrissette Michele [spelling] and Keri Hilson if you have not already. 

Seperately from this new news. . .apparently there are two people who have swine flu in Colorado now. It sounds like they'll be fine though. Does anyone know what is going on with Rihanna and Chris Brown. . .I heard something along the lines that she is going to break up with him?! I also heard that is case may be acquitted. WTF IS THAT?! 

Entertain me with something. . .well you know entertaining. Got a specific topic you are interested in hearing about let me know. I am doing some research currently for my Women and Violence class on a women who is on death row who kidnapped and tortured her boyfriend horribly. I think it's very interesting so once I found out more I shall inform you about what is going on with that. I have to do a quick ab workout before I allow myself to try and sleep. Nighty night!


What the fuck am I suppose to do about this gold digging situation? I'm stuck in between my first instinct and my rationale. I'm so offended and hurt that my instinct tells me to not even waste my time. If he thinks it now, and since my money situation isn't going to turn anytime soon, what is going to change the thoughts later? But at the same time, relationships are suppose to encounter some fights and we haven't ever had a fight. I know for certain though he's never paying for another thing for me again. If I do go out anywhere, even just driving somewhere, it'll be if only I am paying for it. He's not coming to pick me up to go somewhere to hang out. He's not paying for dinner, drinks, or gifts. He's not paying for anything where I pay him back. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. The only thing he is asking for is forgiveness. It's not as easy as it seems. I will always think that he is thinking of me as a charity case or a gold digger.  

I don't really know what I'm going to do. At this point, I'm really just set on taking me time and getting my money situation together because once that is done then everything else will fall in place. I can stop feeling guilty and anxious about spending money, hopefully! I don't know how long it's going to take either. I don't really think at this point in time that I even want to go to Mexico one because I think it's just going to be awkward, especially if my shit isn't together yet and two because I'm scared that I'm not going to have enough money to get by down there, even though it's an all expenses paid trip I'm still a little concerned about having some spending money. I don't know what to do. =[ such a terrible position.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Blogging about my very personal life and feelings is out of the norm for me, however I need some kind of release and since my bestfriends' response was just "I guess" I will rely on this. I'll cut to the chase. I was recently informed by Mark that he is going to quit his dispatching job and return to school for paramedic classes. I am so happy that he has made the decision to get out of that shit hole ass job and go into the field an although it isn't right away it's still the best idea. However, at the same time, I am concerned for not just him, but for ANYONE who is planning on quitting any job during this time. I have a strong belief that the economy is not going to get any better anytime soon. This shit just doesn't turn around over night one day with people getting tons of job offers, businesses being completely restored, and the economy in full bloom. Unfortunately, my concern was taken completely out of context and I have virtually been called a "Gold Digger". A label I am ashamed of. Receiving a label that is so demeaning is very hurtful to me. I try to do everything in my power to prevent portraying myself as this. I work hard, I have two jobs that I pick up extra hours for whenever possible. I pay my bills on time. I refuse to borrow money. I have an EXTREMELY HARD TIME allowing ANYONE to pay for ANYTHING for me. I feel horrible, especially with Mark, because we have already had a discussion just recently about how terrible I feel for allowing him to pay for the Mexico trip before I gave him any money for it, how terrible I feel because he always buys everything and refuses to let me pay for stuff, and how guilty I feel. I stress about money everyday so much so that I go out of my way to NOT look at my bank account. I have seriously considered receiving therapy in hopes of doing away with the amount of stress and worry that I feel on a daily basis. To be question about my intentions when I express concern about him quitting a job makes me sick to my stomach. I am deeply offended and hurt so much so that my first instinct is [not was but still] to flatline. I take pride in my hard-work and my determinism and to be called a Gold Digger destroys that and the only way I can think of to restore my reputation as not one is to just pay Mark back as soon as I can for this Mexico trip and be on my own. It seems as though I have become dependent and for me it's a shocking discovery. Harsh realities to face but I guess I welcome them because they make me a better person. =\


I absolutely love the show Lost but I haven't followed from the beginning and I'm really sad I haven't. I use to watch it every Monday for like four hours because it was playing on Sci Fi from like 7 to 11 and that's how I would get caught up but then I fell behind and now I don't even watch it at all. I would love the whole series of seasons that have been shown. It is a very captivating show.

Bride Wars

One of the greatest wedding movies I have ever seen. I have never thought about my wedding so I can't say that I relate to the characters in there but I love the girls. . .they're so awesome! I FREAKING LOVED that Vera Wang dress. Inspired me to take a look at other dresses that are available out there and see the other really cute ones. [= 

side note: Looking lasted literally two mins and it became too overwhelming hahaha ;]

Racism and the Judicial System

Apparently. . .racism is not as covert in the judicial system as it is in the rest of the world. There is a kid in my class who told a story about how he and his friend were treated with prejudice and continue to still be treated so by the Denver County Courts. As a bailiff for my courts it kind of touched home with me because it makes me realize that there are some racist people at my job but thankfully they aren't so open and displaying with it. Anyways, a kid in my class, we'll name his Shawn for the purpose of the story, and his friend, we'll name Chris, were working out together at a 24 hour fitness. Chris is a UFC Colorado Championship right now that fights for the Denver Police Department. His teacher is the Deputy Sheriff and he has a lot of friends and is well known within the department. He trains Shawn. While they were working out, someone got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. This someone showed a PAPER COPY of an ID that belonged to Chris. No fingerprints were taking by the officer in case of an identity mishap and apparently the paper copy id was accepted. . .which it shouldn't have been. So this individual got a speeding ticket. Chris went to the courts to take care of another speeding ticket only to discover that he had another with a warrant out. As he was taking care of this one he decided to fight it. He requested an identity hearing in order to show that he was not the individual driving that day. Shawn went with Chris to the hearing as a character witness and also in order to say that they were together at the work out center at the time of the ticket. Chris checked in as himself. Shawn checked in as a witness to Chris' case. As they're names were called up to the podium Shawn tried to make sure the judge understood that the judge knew he was just a witness. He was ordered to shut up and calm down and just stand at the podium. Anytime the two tried to explain what was going on they were told to be quiet. The officer testified an instead of identifying Chris as the driver, who was the person who was in the paper copy id photo that was provided at the time of the ticket, the officer identified Shawn as the driver who looks nothing like Chris. This suggests that the officer assumed that all black people look a like. When Shawn tried to explain once again he was told to shut up. In the end, this case was dismissed but the ordeal was not over. The judge placed the two in contempt of court for "impersonation". They are accusing Shawn of checking in as Chris and the other way around. They are being pressed with felony charges and are facing prison time. The city attorney who is suppose to be helping them is NOT HELPING AT ALL however just telling them everything they could be charged with. The prosecutor is telling them that he is going to give it to the District Attorney to see what else they can charge them with. The officer calls them over and starts cussing them out. Yelling at them to shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and that they were being ass holes trying to cheat the system. During this time they had said and done nothing to receive this kind of treatment. The officer wrote them their new ticket and they were taking to jail for being in contempt. They are planning on hiring an attorney and I honestly think the charges will probably be dismissed. I just am floored that the Denver Police would treat someone so poorly, even when they fight for charity to raise money for them. It's quite disappointing and I hope I don't experience any such prejudicial treatment in my courts. ]=

Monday, April 27, 2009

Swine Flu

This piece of shit swine flu epidemic in Mexico is threateningly to force us to cancel our fuckin vacation. I can't even express how fuckin pissed I'm going to be if I don't get to go to Mexico for a week in May. We are trying to figure out a place that we could go just in case the trip does get cancelled. All Mark and I can think of really is Florida. I'm just prefering to go somewhere else really. I'm very disappointed right now so hopefully everything works out. We have to first figure out if the news is just really making this whole thing out to be worse than it really is or if we really do need to cancel Mexico and get it switched to a different location you know. We HAVE to keep it as all expenses paid though because I haven't saved any money to spend on other shit let alone to pay Mark back. Updates. . .later.


Saturday, April 25, 2009

Vegetarian Souvlaki Pita Wraps

In a large bowl, combine the eggplant, mushrooms, peppers, pineapple, vinegar, oregano, oil and garlic. Let marinate for 20 minutes at room temperature, stirring frequently.

Preheat the grill. Thread the vegetables and pineapple on metal shish kebab skewers, alternating colors. Grill for 10 minutes, turning once, or until lightly browned, basting with any leftover marinade.

Warm the pita rounds on the grill, turning once. Wrap 1 pita around each shish kebab.

Vegetarian Lasagna Bundles

Preheat the oven to 350�F.

Cook the noodles in a large pot of boiling water according to the package directions. Drain. Lay the noodles flat on a work surface to prevent them from sticking together.

Warm the oil in a medium no-stick skillet over medium heat. Add the onions and garlic. Cook for 3 to 5 minutes, or until softened. Transfer to a medium bowl.

To the bowl, add the ricotta, spinach, egg whites, basil, Parmesan, pepper, nutmeg, and 1/4 cup of the mozzarella. Mix well.

Spread 1/3 cup of the ricotta filling over the length of each noodle and roll up from one end.
Spread one-half of the marinara sauce on the bottom of a 13" x 9" baking dish. Add the rolls, seam side down. Top with the remaining sauce and the remaining 1/2 cup mozzarella.

Cover with foil and bake for 25 minutes. Remove the foil and bake for another 5 minutes.

Vegetarian Shepherds Pie

Preheat the oven to 375°F.
In a large saucepan, combine the potatoes and water to cover. Bring to a boil over high heat. Reduce the heat to medium, cover, and simmer for 10 minutes, or until the potatoes are just softened.
Meanwhile, in a medium saucepan, combine the black beans, kidney beans, tomato sauce, onion, garlic, 1/4 teaspoon of the salt, and 1/4 teaspoon of the pepper. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Reduce the heat to medium and simmer for 2 to 3 minutes, or just until heated through. Spread the bean mixture in an 11" x 7" baking dish and set aside.
When the potatoes are cooked, drain them in a colander and return them to the saucepan. Add the milk, butter, cilantro, and the remaining 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Mash with a potato masher until smooth.
Spread the corn over the bean mixture, then spread (or pipe) the mashed potatoes on top. Sprinkle with the Cheddar.
Bake for 20 minutes, or until the top is golden. Increase the oven temperature to broil and place under the broiler for about 1 minute, or until the top is browned slightly.

Work out ideas

Here's some of the new work out ideas I've done some research on. 

Krav Maga
has a workout plan for woman that really focuses on rape prevention defense with input from law enforcement officials, psychologists, rape prevention counselors, criminal prosecutors, and physicians, which is very entriguing in itself. I think this is a great idea for every woman to participate in. However they're fitness program sounds great too. The philosophy of Krav Maga is "Your health and body are worth fighting for." KM's training program mixes the use of kickboxing bags, kettle bells, cardio, sport circuits, and yoga. It focuses on kickboxing moves to ensure and healthy, strong, and fit body. I'm really interested in trying some of this stuff out however I don't have kettle bells or a kickboxing bag. =[

next. . .

Full Fitness
So this is just a website I stumbled upon. . . I like it because they provide different workout activities for different body parts, especially abs. For the abs: superman, ball crunch, hip thrust [lay on your back with feet up in the air, roll back and thrust your hips up], medicine ball crunch, russian oblique twist [sit straight up with knees bent and feet in the air, twist to the right then the left.], touch your toes, plank, weighted side bend [for love handles], swiss oblique ball crunch [left elbow to right knee], swiss ball pull in [put hands on the groud, put feet on the ball and pull in and push out], and the leg pull in. 

next. . .

Women's Health Abs
This is a workout focusing on abs and a flatter stomach in six weeks. I'm definitely going to give this a try. For week one you do the 8 ab work out activities for one minute with 5 reps. Week two same amount of time with 6 reps. Week three you do one minute with 8 reps. Week four is one minute 10 reps. Week five is 75 seconds with ten reps. and Week six is 90 seconds with ten reps. The moves are plank, side plank, glute bridge march [lie on back with feet flat on floor, arms rest straight out with palms up, raise your hips up so your body is in a straight line, then pull one leg towards your chest and hold for two counts, switch legs. thats one rep], lunge with rotation with a weight, plank with arm lift[arm goes straight out], side plank with rotation [put arm out and rotate forward], hip thigh rise [same as glute bridge march but leg goes straight out not in], and reverse lunge with single arm press [step backwards and lunge then push one weighted arm up].  Your suppose to do the last four in the later weeks once you establish yourself. I don't really know if you go every day but I'm definitely going to. . .faster results. [= 

I like dancing to dance or house mixes too so I think that will be my work out for my legs. [= 

Loans. Stress. Diets!

I found out today that the loan I applied to renew for more money for the summer apparently was not tracked by their system. I have NO IDEA what website I used of course cuz I'm a dumbass and didn't write it down for some reason. So I don't know how to go about fixing it. I applied for another loan through a different bank so hopefully that one gets processed pretty quickly and I get accepted and get the amount I am looking for. If you know of any loan websites besides nelnet let me know!!! THANKS!!!

I'm stressed out from working so much and all that ontop of school. I'm always so exhausted! I'm worried about next semester and getting the classes I want. I signed up for two online courses and got waitlisted so I'm hoping and praying that I get into both because they're really convenient for work schedules. I'm still stressed out about money SURPRISE SUPRISE and getting Mark his money back. Once I get a loan I think some of that money is going to go to him just so I can be done with it. I am disappointed in myself because I moved back home to save money and I haven't saved a DAMN DIME! I need to get it together. NO MORE GOING OUT and NO MORE SHOPPING, especially not on other peoples money because everytime we go and I say I don't have money everyone is always buying me drinks and I feel really bad about it cuz I can't return the favor. I've actually been really good and haven't spent money on shopping really so I'm proud of myself. My biggest problem with saving money though is NOT EATING OUT! I need to stop because it is out of hand.

I have not been on a diet of any kind, not even vegetarian. My parents always complain about me filling up the fridge with food and leftovers that I do eat. . .just not the same day I make them or the next. They're leftovers they're mean to be eaten later. . .and for convenience. I will take the blame for a lot of food going to waste because I wouldn't use it and it would just rot in the fridge but at the same time I think it started happening because my ma is always cooking so it was convenient just to eat what she made especially when I'm so tired. So it was easy for me to eat, then easy for me to leave the shit to rot. I am going to have to address this issue with her because I am so disappointed in myself and my eating and working out habits. I need to get back onto a regular schedule and not let up for anything. I've been browsing some different diets and workout plans but haven't found one that I'm really interested in yet but hopefully I do. I think I just need a strict schedule that's easy for me to stick to. Having a nearby gym membership would also be extremely helpful but that's taking more money away. Definitely worth it however in the long run. I may stop at a nearby 24 hour fitness spot to check out how much it is for a membership or how much it costs to go each time. I wish I could afford a personal trainer but have no time and definitely no money for that lol. I need a motivated partner though lol! I have to use some of the motivational quotes I posted to make some rules for myself that I have to follow to. I'll dedicate Monday to that. It's finally a day off from both jobs so I'm going to get advised by a criminal justice advisor for my minor, submitting a formal complaint on my teacher, and then doing motivational stuff.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Baseball Season

I'm really quite depressed because I am a huge baseball fan and I really haven't had any time to watch any games. It's become so bad that I have no idea whats going on with my teams, even worse I dont even know when they freaking play! Its really saddening. I catch highlightswc every once in a while and I take a peek at he current standins but not often. I'm so sad about it. Mark agreed to take me to a couple games so hopefully we get to go soon!!

Huevos Racheros

*I'm hoping one morning I'll get up early enough to make these before work or school. . .or on a weekend lol!

4 (6-inch) corn tortillas
Nonstick cooking spray
1 jar(s) (16-ounce) mild fat-free salsa
1 cup(s) canned black beans, rinsed and drained
1 cup(s) frozen corn kernels
3 green onions, sliced
1 teaspoon(s) ground cumin
4 large eggs
1/2 cup(s) loosely packed fresh cilantro leaves, thinly sliced
1/2 avocado, sliced into thin wedges
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. In 15 1/2" by 10 1/2" jelly-roll pan, invert four 6-ounce custard cups. With kitchen shears, make four evenly spaced 1-inch cuts, from edge toward center, around each tortilla. Lightly spray both sides of tortillas with cooking spray and drape each over a custard cup. Bake tortilla cups 8 minutes or until golden and crisp.
Meanwhile, in nonstick 12-inch skillet, combine salsa, beans, corn, green onions, and cumin; heat to boiling over medium heat. Cover and cook 3 minutes to blend flavors.
With large spoon, make 4 indentations for the eggs in salsa mixture, spacing them evenly around skillet. One at a time, break eggs into cup and slip into an indentation in salsa mixture. Cover and simmer 8 to 10 minutes or until eggs are set or cooked to desired doneness.
To serve, invert each tortilla cup onto a plate. Spoon an egg with some salsa mixture into each tortilla cup. Spoon any remaining salsa mixture around and on eggs in cups. Sprinkle with cilantro; serve with avocado.

Fish Taco Recipe

*I'm dying to make these!

2 limes
4 cup(s) (half 16-ounce bag) shredded cabbage mix for coleslaw
1/2 cup(s) reduced-fat sour cream
1 tablespoon(s) olive oil
1 1/4 pound(s) tilapia fillets
1/4 teaspoon(s) ground chipotle chili pepper
8 corn tortillas
1 cup(s) salsa

From limes, grate 2 teaspoons peel and squeeze 1/4 cup juice.
In large bowl, combine coleslaw mix and lime juice; set aside. In small bowl, stir lime peel into sour cream; set aside.
In nonstick 12-inch skillet, heat oil on medium 1 minute. On sheet of waxed paper, sprinkle tilapia fillets with chipotle chili pepper and 1/4 teaspoon salt to season both sides. Add fish to skillet and cook 5 to 6 minutes or until it turns opaque throughout, turning over once. Meanwhile, warm tortillas.
To serve, cut fillets into 8 pieces. Place 2 pieces tilapia in each tortilla; top with slaw, lime sour cream, and salsa

The Hills

I absolutely love this show. Can't explain why but I do really like it. I can NOT STAND how dumb some of the girls are though. . .specifcally Audrina and Heidi. They make it seem like a lot of girls are just as dumb as they are when it comes to boys. They both let Justin and Spencer walk all over them and its ridiculous. Audrina is always going to pretend that she hates Justin and doesn't want to be with him bbut in the end she is always going to go back to him and he is never going to stop pulling the dumb bullshit that he does. Heidi and Spencer have FAKE "Drama". I swear they fight on the show just to keep people entertained. In the last couple episodes Spencer went to a bar and was drinking with the bartender and flirting and then he went out with her and her friends. He just was really inconsiderate of Heidi and completely believes that he did nothing wrong. Heidi gave him an ultimatum and said that if they didn't go to a therapist and work through their problems then she was going to leave him. However, just yesterday on the radio there were reports that they are getting married in a couple of weeks. My belief with these two idiots is that they alienated themselves from all of their friends and neither one of them want to be alone so they know that they can't leave each other. They're just ridiculous. But I still really like the show. [= I like Lauren. . .I know she's had to be dating someone so WHERES THE INFO ON THAT!?!?

Saturday, April 18, 2009

"Confessions" by Glen Bucher

Here's a paper for my Group Prejudice class on an article. Read it. Edit it. [= hahaha. 

The idea that “one cannot be part of mainstream America and committed to changing it” is the perfect embodiment of Glen Bucher’s experience of the American Dream (Bucher, 27). Bucher’s article “Confessions” from his book Straight/White/Male traces through his own experience of his receiving of the American Dream, his challenge to that dream, and the results of that challenge. In order to get a better understanding of Bucher’s experience we must explore his idea of the American Dream, his challenge to debunk that dream, and finally why his challenge failed.

            To begin with, Bucher describes the American Dream as the dominance of race, sex, and heterosexual preference by white, Anglo-Saxon Protestant, straight, males over political, economic, and social aspects of society. He nicknamed these controllers WASP’s. The American Dream for WASP’s is inherited and essential for life. According to Bucher “Every American of straight male WASP orientation grows up with this dream implanted in his consciousness and gonads” and as a result it “inevitably affects his behavior” (Bucher, 12). To identify the American Dream more clearly, Bucher explains his understanding of it through his own experience while growing up. He was taught that every American community was the exact replica of his, white, Angelo-Saxon, Protestant, and straight. These communities placed an emphasis on a middle class income, family, prudence, rationality, and simplicity. The communities created the perfect amount of opportunities, success, and affluence that were easily obtained by all those who fit the criteria.

            As a result of, the WASP quality of life was deemed necessary for the “development and survival of the nation and world” (Bucher, 16). The strict following of WASP beliefs, Bucher discovered, lead to the development of prejudices, and stereotypes of all who did not fit the norm, including women, blacks, and homosexuals. For blacks, labels like “shiftless, lazy, emotional, smelly, and intellectually inferior” were negatively applied (Bucher, 16). Blacks were to be viewed as dangerous challengers to the American Dream trying to take away what white straight males had. Women, although viewed as the counterpart body to the men’s head, were still stereotyped. They were viewed as “sensitive, compassionate, docile, and obedient” (Bucher, 17). They were, by nature, intended to be caretakers of the men and children. The stereotypes of homosexuals were created through the avoidance of open sexual discussion. If there was such discussion, it was focused on females only. Males never discussed themselves in a sexual manner because homosexuality was viewed as a sickness that could be treated with therapy or medicine, therefore stereotypes of “fairies” “queers” and “freaks” developed.

            Bucher decided that once an individual received the teachings of the WASP quality of life and stereotypes, one of two things could be done. On one hand, the individual could embrace the teachings and do nothing about seeing the American Dream in its true context. Or on the other hand, the individual could “analyze thoroughly that which one has inherited” and understand the implications on those who are abused by this dream. Bucher chose to analyze this dream and make an attempt at changing it for the future and in order to do so he left his hometown community of suburban middle-class America and its beliefs behind. Bucher went to graduate school and entered into the urban middle-class neighborhood, one which was engrossed in the conflict of desire to conform to the WASP style of life and the inability to do so. His goals were to educate African-Americans so they could succeed, participate in a fight for social injustice to rid immigrants and minorities struggle with the American dream only to face the cruel hands of reality, and bring attention to whites that racism still existed.

 During his stay in the urban community, Bucher reevaluated all of his ambitions, goals, and priorities. To challenge the American Dream he converted his Conservative religion to one of pietism, evangelicalism, sectarianism, legalism, and pacifism. He changed his political views to that of liberal assumptions of a just America that provided equal opportunities of middle-class to everyone who are educated and work hard. Bucher believed that “liberal political philosophy and strategies of social change consistent with it were the means by which the restoration would be accomplished” (Bucher, 23). However, despite these changes, his attempt to make progress in the fight to destroy the WASP American Dream was defeated.

Bucher dove deep into the fight by obtaining a professor position at a predominantly black college. He saw the environment as both scary, because he was in the alien world, but also ideal because of how much there was to do. Despite Bucher’s efforts reality came crashing down. Bucher realized that even graduate educated African-Americans were not as proficient as white junior high school students. These individuals worked for meager wages at meaningless jobs. They were “consumed by a subculture of poverty, depression, disease, and despair” (Bucher, 25). Black men were found wandering the streets looking for jobs and black women were found in hospitals looking for a roof over their head or a doctor. There was a steady stream of violence, police brutality, and death. Bucher realized that “blacks do not have the option of leaving alien America” however he did (Bucher, 26). Once he came to this realization, Bucher’s ideas of liberalism were destroyed. He discovered that the liberal beliefs did not fully understand the context of the social problem, mostly because they still benefited from the problem itself. Liberal beliefs challenge to the social arrangements only helped Bucher come to the conclusion that straight white males were the “creators, maintainers, and change agents of the American way of life” and that America is not going to give up its racism (Bucher, 27).

I believe that Glen Bucher’s article accurately describes the confessions of a white straight male who was unsuccessful at making our society better. I completely agree with his idea of the American Dream and the WASP quality of life. Whites, for many years, have benefited from our past history. I think that the WASP teachings are definitely inherited, however if they are not inherited, they are easily taught. I have made my own realization in my own prejudice from this article in that if I was unsuccessful in something, I would blame it on something externally, however if I was successful in something I would attribute it to something internal. In our society today, it would be difficult to prevent the teachings of the WASP quality of life and therefore avoid the stereotypes that accompany these teachings. It is unfortunate and bothersome that the underprivileged must suffer at the hands of reality after dreaming of obtaining American success. I think that Bucher and others made a valiant effort to make the necessary changes for our future and it was unfortunate that they were unsuccessful.

I do agree with Bucher that racism and prejudice is a white problem because whites are the creators, however I disagree in that whites can be the only ones to solve the problem. I think that prejudice happens across cultures and those who are discriminated against, discriminate themselves. For example, African-Americans are greatly discriminated against by whites; however they discriminate against homosexuals just as much. I think it is unfair to leave solving this social problem only up to whites because of their inheritance of privilege while minorities participate in only making the problem worse. Even though, stereotypes, racism, and prejudice has seemingly decreased in our society the only explanation for this decrease is due to a more covert display. We have truly made no recent progress in more forms of social justice and in order to do so I think a more collaborative effort by all races, sexes, sexual preferences, etc need to be made. An open minded attitude to both similarities and differences must be taken where no group is better than another, where there are no model minorities, and more. Societal standards and norms have to be altered to include everyone in such a way that is not enhancing one groups control over another. WASP teachings and inheritances need to be eliminated from society and the American Dream should be altered to provide opportunities for everyone. With these important changes, I believe that Buchers’ envision of change may just begin to progress.

In conclusion, Glen Buchers’ article “Confessions” explored Buchers’ understanding of the American Dream and the world that it played a major role in. Bucher realized that as a candidate for the WASP quality of life he had the option of accepting the beliefs and fulfilling his own potential at the expense of others, or challenging the teachings and changing the effects it had on those who suffered from them. After choosing the path of change, Bucher realized his minimal efforts were unsuccessful because “one cannot be part of mainstream America and committed to changing it” (Bucher, 27). I agree with Buchers’ idea of challenge and change, however I place the burden of both, challenging the American dream and changing societal standards and stereotypes, not only on whites, but society as a whole. Without collaboration from everyone, successful changes will not be made. 

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Maddoxx. . .

I swear he wants to be a girl lmao! He HATES HATES men and doesn't really care about women. I took him tonight to play with Tristan and Kyle's dog and cat Cooper and Oreo today, which was an experience because Maddoxx is never around any other dogs and he is such a little bitch. It took like 15 mins for him to get comfortable and actually raise up his tail. Like right before we left though he started playing with Oreo who wanted nothing to do with him. Oreo smacked him in the face with a declawed paw and hissed at him and then got up on this chair and Maddoxx was running around and barking at him. It was really cute and I wish I had my camera with me but I couldn't find it. [hope I didn't leave in the springs]. Anyways, Maddoxx and Cooper are going to be great friends [=. Successful trip!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


There's a lot of new music out that I need to download but have no energy to do tonight. . .tomorrow though after tanning of course lol! 

Rock City-Fix You
Drake-Best I ever had
Jeremy Green- Heart strings
Lady Gaga-Poker face
Kelly Rowland- Love Me Better
Lil Mama- Shake
Trey Songz-Only Girl
Sean Garrett-Break Up
Mos Def-Flowers [I think]
Method Man and Redman-Miss International 
Beyonce-Ego Remix 
Asher Roth-Perfectionist
Eminem-We made You
Ciara - Kiss My Swag, We Can Get It On
Kid Cudi-look up in the stars
Johnta Austin-Love
Jeremy Green- Friction
Asher Roth- Family Man 
I Know You Want Me - Pitbull
Jason Aldean-She's country
Kevin Rudolf-Welcome to the World
Theory of A Dead Man - Not Meant To Be
Lady Gaga-Love Game
Pitron and Sanna-Body Swerve

omg look at all these. . .sheesh and the list is not even done. I haven't covered everything possible yet lol. I'm gonna call it a night!! yay sleep will come easy!

Can I just show you?!?!?!

Just how desperate I am for these items from the store:

11 Hrs Work+On Feet whole 12 hrs+flat tire. . .

The shit that has added up in these past couple days is ridiculous. Today, to start wit, I worked a 4 hour shift at the courts. . .on my feet the whole time. . .then I worked a 7 hour shift. . .on my feet the whole time. . .at White House|Black Market. Yesterday, I went from school. . .getting out of class at 345 and then straight to work at 530. However. . .when I got to the train stop my driver side front tire was completely FLAT! I didn't have time because of rush hour to change the tire [which I am very proud to say that I not only know how to change a tire but change brakes as well] so Mark came and picked me up and took me to work. Then my parents picked me up and took me to change the flat and it turned out that my spare was pretty close to being flat too however we just aired that one up. . .thank God it wasn't flat lol. I have had really no time to do any homework except for to read or even lay down. I pulled a freaking muscle yesterday and my feet are ABSOLUTELY KILLING me from the beating they have taken in the past two days. Tomorrow I have to go to class and walk around campus all day so hopefully they feel a little better. 

Despite all the negativity I worked my fuckin ass off today at the store. I didn't really make any bonuses unfortunately however I did make over 1700 for the company. I think that is fucking amazing for my fourth day of working there. I'm glad I got extra hours too because I was originally only supposed to work from 530 to 830 and then it got extended to 3 to 830 and then finally to 130 to 830. I haven't got to tanning the past two days and I haven't worked out either [and of course I haven't been eating healthy completely and I have been drinking coke smh]. I'm disappointed in myself in that sense but I am working hard to make my money and that's what's really important to me right now. All this bullshit will pay off in the end when I'm laying on the beach, tanning in the hawt sun, with Mark Kyle and Tristan by my side, and a gin and juice in my hand [=. Here I fuckin come MEXICO!!!