New Job

I started the new job yesterday. They're so awesome I really like them. They're very flexible with my school schedule and they're giving me about 25 hours a week which is perfect. I also get a raise every 60 days and on xmas I get a bonus which is cool! The work is easy it's definitely no rocket scientist job [=. I officially am the office manager [=. And I can work extra hours on the weekend doing some patrol work if I want extra money whenever I want.

I got an 87 on my first Research and Methods Exam. I missed stupid points that I should have been paying attention to and I would have gotten right. That class is so incredibly boring. I have a Drugs and Cravings test coming up soon. We've covered a lot of material so I'm really nervous about it already. I'll definitely be studying for a whole week in advance for this one. Hopefully, he'll give us a study guide and that would be great.

I'm making oreo cheesecake cupcakes! Mark hates sweets and a coworker of his made these one day and brought them to work and he fell in love with them. I definitely think it's because he does like cheesecake. They sound and look pretty good so I'm excited to see how they turn out [=.

So. . .follow up. . .

I went on my first interview today. It was at a private security firm called Spears Security and Patrol. I was officially offered the job and I start on Thursday. I'm super excited! I'll be doing dual positions kind of. They want me mainly for office duties but they also have plans to use my lightly within the field as a patrol officer. It's not the best pay and for now it will work. . .I start off kind of low but once they get me settled in they already said I will get a raise. So anyways. . .I'm looking forward to it. The owner actually interviewed me by accident today because the guy who is now my manager was late due to traffic and he was like really really OVERLY excited to bring me on board. Anyways. . .I am now officially a half rent a cop hahahahahah [= Congrats to myself. I keep getting a ton of phone calls for interviews now though. It's so weird because this always happens. I'm sure it is because of how many responses they get from their ads but like it takes a couple weeks for them to get back to me and by then I have usually already had a job offered to me. It's always tempting to keep my options open and junk but ironically this position is going to turn out to be a good foot in the door for experience whenever I do field work for the law enforcement position so I think it's the better option over the other interview offers I've received. Plus a lot of people are doing phone interviews and that's a waste of time to me. I have a legit resume. If you don't want me to waste your time. . .don't waste mine by asking for a phone interview and then telling me "oh we'll call you back and let you know if we want to a in person interview". EFF that. . .time is money and I need the money to pay my damn bills. . .I don't have the time [aka the money] to sit around waiting for you to call me back for a interview process that takes like four weeks. Sorry.

Anyways. . .Mark and the gang and I went to see the movie Gamer tonight. Pretty interesting plot. I liked it. Definitely worth seeing. . .probably not in the theatre though. I also have fallen victim to the Twilight saga. I started reading the first book today after seeing the movie preview on the VMA's and it sparking an interest in me. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm not engrossed in it quite like I was with Harry Potter yet and I will always remain a devote fan lol.

I'm outie. Maybe if I find the energy I'll have a interesting post within the next couple of days about what life would be like if it were really carried out in a gaming fashion. Night!

When should you be done?

Mark and I have been fighting A LOT lately. . . like every day type shit. It doesn't matter what it's over, mostly trivial DUMB BULL SHIT but it's a constant. We almost have to pretend to get a long on the days we manage not to get into fights or rarely talk at all. I know that I have a very argumentative attitude and I can start a lot of shit but I refuse to accept full blame for every fight. He would probably say I'm just being sensitive or tell me to retract my claws like usual.

I have bad experiences with relationships that fight all the time. Even though I've already invested my emotions it's so much harder to convince myself to keep doing so in order to maintain a relationship that I'm uncertain for. I've really got nothing in ideas for trying to make things better though. I honestly think that it may be because we spend too much time together. I'm at my end of fighting. I've been sick and tired of it and definitely had more than enough of it. I don't want to let go that's the last thing on my mind but because the resolution of just trying to make sure that it doesn't make it to an argument is not working something else has to happen. Hm. . .anyways. . .I have a hard time seeing at night because of light sensitivity so I'm going to go to bed. Night.

GREATNESSSS

I got three phone calls today. . .ALL INTERVIEWS! I'm super excited and can't wait. One Wednesday and two Thursday. Wish me luck!!!!! [=

VMA's

okay obviously Kanye West is a horrible part of the music industry. He has NO RESPECT whatsoever for any other genre other than the auto tune/hip hop/rap bull shit that he makes and produces ie kid cudi and drake. It's quite pathetic that he would make such a huge ass of himself but at least he shows his true colors to music fans and we can learn not to support those who don't support the success of others. Too bad he didn't win, but get over you're disgusting ego.

Next, Pink's performance was awesome and I absolutely want to see her in concert. Mark and I just talked about that today actually.

Lady Gaga is weird but I like it! that red outfit she was wearing reminded me of the SLIM JIM guy hahahahahahaah. Look up a picture of him if you can't remember him. Her performance was fuckin' strange as well and the media is going to have a hey day with it. Her final outfit was just retarded looking. . .I want to understand the thought processes she goes through when she choses what she will wear.

Beyonce, of course, was amazing. Her performance was beautiful and HAWT and I loved how much cleavage she was showing. She showed her amazing personality and true classiness when she allowed Taylor to finish her thank you speech.

I'm looking forward to seeing the photos of what everyone was wearing

Jay-Z and Alicia Keys performance was phenomenal, like expected. Not quite sure why Lil' Mama just popped up but whatever if she wanted to rep then let it be. That is all [=

Oh btw. . .MJ tribute was also super AMAZING!!! I loved Janet Jackson's performance. . .very touching!

Poker Face!

I am the ultimate champion at poker! hahaha jk. . .but I freaking SMASHED on Mark last night. Good times. I'm very proud of myself. I went to the Goodwill in the springs today and found a rain coat, and two pairs of pants, and an AWESOME bracelet with chains attaching the two matching rings. I'm very happy with my purchases.

I have my new tattoo idea for certain this time. It's "Dura Lex Sed Lex" meaning the law is harsh but it shall prevail. [= I'm not too sure where I want to put it exactly but it's a representation of the desire that I have to become a police officer. [=

Full Blown Break Down

Mark and I came to the Springs last night to help out his parents watch their dog while they went out of town. I was really excited to come because I have been dying to go to this dance spot called Blondies that's only down here. I LOVED it the first time I went because the music is awesome and they have a great crowd and a cool light show. So anyways. . .we get here and went and had some awesome mexican food with his mom. After discussing what we were going to do I thought I had made it very clear that I wanted to go to Blondies and Mark didn't really care to go because it's all the way on the other side of town and one of us wouldn't be able to drink. So we didn't end up going and I was pretty pissed because that's basically the only reason why I came down besides to spend time with him. We decided to go to the liquor store and just play poker. Well we kept getting at each other's throats like all night and we both felt really bad about it. I told him that I believe it's because I have been so stressed and upset about not having a job and being concerned about having enough money to make it for the time being. I just freakin' broke down. The anxiety was so overwhelming. I refuse to check my bank account because I'm always too scared to know what little amount is in there and crap. It just sucks. Anyways. . .Mark and I talked and I am more open to accepting help when it's offered even though I will never ask for it. We worked through it and I'm glad I looked at my bank account because I feel a lot better about the amount that is in it [=

(btw. . .I won poker again last night. That's the second time I've beat him =])

A little piece of excitement

I got a phone interview for a job at a Dr's office. I answered all the initial questions and she's going to talk to the office manager and call me back when they are scheduling in office interview. I'm doing good luck dances from here on out lol. [=

I got. . .

The Blue Print 3 [= in all its amazing-ness. However, I have yet to listen to it.

I finished watching Quarantine. I freakin LOVED it!!! I don't usually watch Zombie movies but because this one had such a great ending I really enjoyed it. Definitely recommend watching it!!

Mark's watching this video of a kid ridding a roller coaster for the first time I assume. . .for the first couple of seconds his facial expressions and reactions are what I feel when I face heights lol. Good stuff. It's on college humor but I'm not sure what it's under.

Anyways. . .I have nothing good to post about currently. I won a game of poker tonight on a pair of three's and a pair of seven's. . .lol pure luck. [= I am doing so much better. I pride myself on being a quick learner.

If you have not seen the new AIDS campaign that is DEFINITELY NOT SHOWN in THE US you need to see it. It involves very sexual images and Hilter. Go look it up =]

Until tomorrow.

Thrift store disappointment

I went to two thrift stores today to satisfy my shopping need. I found a really cute skirt and a leather jacket. I got the skirt specifically so I could wear it with these panty hose I bought a couple weeks ago. I get home and go to try the skirt on with the panty hose and I RIPPED my fuckin panty hose. Freakin' awesome. =[ I need new black ones and I would like some other different colors like dark blue and maroon for the fall.

I'm currently watching Quarantine before I go to class. I'll let you know if it's worth seeing.

Mark and I went to see Halloween 2 directed by Rob Zombie. I went in hopes of finally having the story of Michael Meyers explained. It was HORRIBLE. I go to see scary movies to get SCARED. . .not to see the goriest shit or the most blood. I like to be scared, I don't care about how much blood a person can lose. Also, the theatre we saw it in sucked. . .it smelled like sweaty balls and it was really nasty.

I want to see HP and Transformers again. . .can't wait til they come out [=.

Fashion Capitals of the World

So I've decided that although I'm not a fashion guru obsessor I am obsessed with fashion. I like to wear the latest styles because they make me feel good about myself. I don't care about impressing other people or trying to show off the money that I don't have by buying the stuff that I can't really afford. I believe in the quote that goes something a long the lines of making yourself look good makes YOU feel good and that's important to me.

I realize that I spend far too much money on shopping HOWEVER I pride myself on my control because I don't do as bad as some women do. I am a compulsive shopper but that is because I was raised to always get what I want. Whatever I wanted, my parents let me get it whether they got it for me or they made me work to get it. . .it was mine. It's nice to know that not everything was just handed to me so I have the safety of knowing that I have to earn the shit I really want. I also am proud of myself because I'm 21 and have 0 CREDIT CARDS. I recently applied for some but was denied and for good reasons since I don't have a job anymore. Either way though, the CC's were OFF LIMITS FOR SHOPPING! They were to be for use like going out to dinner or getting Maddoxx food. . .easy stuff to pay off quickly. I wish I had the money to spend on more stuff. . .I wouldn't buy the most expensive stuff because I can get almost the EXACT SAME STUFF for cheaper. I recently discovered a really cute line by Miley Cyrus at Wal-Mart. . .she has good taste for me [= even though I don't like her voice.

Anyways. . .I am so THANKFUL I don't live in the fashion capitals though because otherwise I would spend SO MUCH MORE MONEY!!!! I am addicted to fashion and addicted to shopping but there's no WAY IN HELL I could resist it if I lived in any fashion capital! hahahah I think I might do some "shopping" tonight [=

BLLEEEHHH

I spent the majority of my day applying for jobs today. It was not fun. . .quite depressing actually. I applied at a bunch of retail stores but the problem is I have very little retail experience. Since I came back from Texas I worked at one store. The other jobs I have had are all office spots because I am really good with computers and I prefer reception work over retail because it pays better. The problem is though, there are no jobs for reception, admin. etc work out there really. Even though I send my resume out to a ton of advertisements for open positions I get mostly bullshit emails back or no responses at all. I understand for the no response thing because they get so many emails and requests there's no way they can take the time to respond with saying we filled it already or we'll let you know or you're not what were looking for.

Basically, I'm starting to feel really anxious about my money situation. What I have isn't going to last me long so I'm desperate for just anything to fill my time and bank account. It makes me want to go back to the club and waitress again because of the easy money that's in it. I'd rather bar tend but I have absolutely no experience with it. I'm looking around at some dive bars trying to see if they need help bartending just so I can beef up some experience enough to get me at a good place but we'll see. Ugh. . .the frustration and the anxiety added together just automatically result in anger and depression. =[

Extremely Excited =\

Don't worry I still haven't had anymore bites on the numerous amounts of resumes and applications I have sent out. I just thought I should let you know that I'm excited to be back in school. At least I'm not on summer break or something where I would just be sitting at home depressed because I'm not doing anything with my time. I think for the time being I may go volunteer somewhere. . .definitely not with Denver Police even though the technician I worked for there wants to talk to me and asked me to call him back when I emailed him about the parking ticket that he was suppose to take care (and supposedly is). I'm not quite sure where yet but I'm going to work on trying to convince my ma to get involved with me. It'll be a great opportunity for us to spend time together (and fight like usual lol) as well as for her to be able to get out of the house. She has been unemployed and on unemployment for quite some time and since she spends most of her days at home alone I can definitely tell she is becoming more and more depressed. Thank God Maddoxx is around to keep her somewhat busy but she usually sleeps until 2 pm then wakes up gets on the computer, walks Maddoxx, and watches tv for the rest of the day while dividing her time up between the bed and the computer. Anyways, it'll be good for the both of us.

This weekend is the SNIAGRAB and SKi REX discounts on all of last years snowboarding and skiing equipment. Since I really got into snowboarding I'm going to go and try to find if I can find some cheap stuff of my own so I don't have to worry about renting anymore. I basically need everything and am pretty much looking to stay under $350. Hopefully all goes well. Unfortunately, if I don't get a job soon I'll be spending money on equipment and a pass that I won't be able to use because I won't have any money to go with. Anyways, wish me luck and keep your eyes open if you know of any opening positions or places hiring.

Music

so. . .since I forget to inform what kind of music I listen to here is the list:

hiphop/rnb/rap - despite I've recently had a falling out with this because what is being put out is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE I'm open to listening to anything you my find worthy.

House/Dance

Rock

Country

Indie

Jazz

September 24th

is now the most important day of my life. . .

why you ask. . .

GREYS ANATOMY NEW SEASON PREMIERE!!!!!!!

RANDOM

I'm still quitting even more pissed about this job searching business because I keep getting these stupid emails from people who live overseas somewhere thinking that I'm dumb enough to work for them in the US. Come on now. . .stop wasting my fucking time.

Also, Shag vs the greatest baseball player currently aka PUJOLS [= ahhhh sexiness!

Fyi. . .if you didn't know. . .Pujols actually has a daughter with down syndrome therefore he started his own foundation for children with down syndrome.