Monday, November 16, 2009

Drugs, Alcohol, and Rape

I'm watching Intervention and this is probably the worst episode I've ever seen. This girl has been an alcoholic for seven years and uses pain killers. I guess six months before either the recording or the airing of this episode she was contacted by police and got her world fucking ROCKED! They showed up and showed her videos of a guy RAPING HER and she had NO FUCKING CLUE!

I can not even imagine going through something like that. How the fuck did you allow yourself to go that far BELOW ROCK BOTTOM that you can't even remember being raped because of your own drug and alcohol abuse. Being date raped is a whole other story that I'm not touching on here because that is not voluntary in the sense that you know what you are exposing yourself to voluntarily when you use alcohol or drugs. Seeing yourself being raped in a video taped by the guy who did it to you is quite the shattering piece of information. I know it would tear my life apart. Still though, I'm still extremely shocked at the simple fact that this woman did not stop drinking or using pain medicines after discovering what happened to her while she was so far gone off them. She in fact made her problem even worse. Obviously this has been her only coping mechanism that she thinks works best for her but how can you NOT WANT TO CHANGE THAT when you find something out like that?!

I really truly hope that if I was ever in her shoes that I would realize that I needed to make some serious changes in my life if I was ever informed that I had been raped without being aware of it in any kind of way. I hope that if I couldn't figure that out on my own that my parents, my family, my friends would make me learn it involuntarily. We spend a lot of time digging ourselves out of the holes that we dig ourselves into throughout our entire life. I know if I was where she is at. . .I would be desperate for someone to help me dig myself out. I have to say that if any of my friends or families were at where she is I would do everything I could to save them even if that's the last thing that they want. I couldn't let myself live with the fact that I didn't do everything I could for them if I didn't.

I gotta tell Tina about this shit because she doesn't cope with shit as healthy as she could. She's definitely no where near being an alcoholic or anything like that but sometimes she worries me because when she is upset about something she turns to alcohol and I don't want her to get to that level.

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