Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Liberation

I read a blog today about being totally liberated from everything in your life except yourself. I wondered what it would feel like to not have a job or have to go to school just to get by. I wondered what it would be like if I didn't have parents, family, friends, or a boss to answer to. If everything about me was totally free. Personally, the thought to me is a little scary. I don't think I would do well without having a job or school or daily routine for that matter. I love working. I really like my job right now, and although I haven't liked my jobs in the past, that does not mean that I never stopped liking to work. Working makes me feel good. I like being productive, I like being successful, I like feeling accomplished. I like having something to work towards - in other words, a paycheck. School is going to end soon for me (my heart and mind are saying both "YIKES!" and "YES!!!"). In a sense, I'm totally and completely ready to not have it in my life anymore. I can focus on my career. I can make my money. I can work more hours. But without it, it will feel weird. I'm the type of person that could never just "take a break from school" and get right back to it. I mean I took "a break from soccer" when I quit and now look where I'm at - NO WHERE, not even almost working out! Anyways, school has been such a huge part of my life that the thought of not having the routine there anymore is a little scary. I'm certain that once I get settled into whichever career path I chose first I won't miss it though.

Not having to answer to anyone but myself would be MAGICAL I think. When I move BACK OUT of my parents house after I graduate (which I can only hope and pray that I'll be able to afford for right now since I have SHIT SAVED UP), I will no longer have to deal with my parents. Not that they will no longer be apart of my life, they just won't be there day in, and day out. I must say the petty ass arguments with my mother will not be missed. The awkward silences with my Dad will not be missed. Not having to answer to a boss would be quite nice. . .being my own boss would be wonderful. I definitely have the initiative to get things done on my own so there would be no worry there. I'm not the procrastinating type either so things would get done in a timely manner. It would be quite nice to set my own rules and not have to abide by other peoples. I don't like the wondering feeling/worry of whether or not I'm in trouble when my manager calls me into his office and shuts his door. UGH I HATE THAT! I do not believe that I really have to answer to my friends. They have their expectations of me and if I fail those expectations they know that they should bring it up with me and I'll fix it as needed.

Therefore, liberation I don't think is completely for me. I think I would only HALF MAKE IT. lol.

2 comments:

  1. I think being liberated from everything in my life would be interesting . It would be hard and kind of scary but challenging. It would be a rush. Its like skydiving, skiing, mountain climbing,etc... they all had risks, were scary but you still go for it because it is rewarding at the end.

    Things that is new, different or just could not be understood is feared. That fear raises a overwhelming panic which can lead to chaos. In the end there is only 2 solutions. Either except it and adopt or you reject.

    I dont know.... It looks like you really didnt give liberation a chance. What do you have against freedom? And if you dont like freedom, does that mean you do not like America?

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  2. No I like freedom. I have nothing against it, just everything against its uncertain nature. If I don't have a sense of control I don't feel as though I'm thriving and I feel like with complete freedom I would lose that sense of control. I don't like certain aspects of America however the freedom that we are granted is definitely something I cherish.

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