Thursday, July 16, 2009
I think that I sometimes suffocate Mark with my presence. He's never complained about it or said anything directly to me so I'm not exactly sure but since I don't get a long with some of his friends anyways I definitely need to branch out to my friends again. I kind of have just like dropped them which is ridiculously unacceptable. I miss Jaleesa, Jasmine, and Rachael. . .I especially miss Tina but since she's in Cali I have to settle without her. I'm in the process of making plans with Jaleesa for this weekend though and I want to wait to see Jasmine at her baby shower but at the same time I kind of don't because we haven't seen each other in so long and it's kind of sad how we just fell off. I just don't want to have to deal with her trying to blame only me for the fact that we don't hang out anymore. Some of the people she hangs out with specifically JC and Terrell get on my nerves and I don't like to be around them plus that aren't really the type of people that I need to be surrounding myself since I want to become a cop. So me ignoring those two is essential but they are friends of hers so it's hard to get just her and not them too. I just miss her, I don't miss the lifestyle I had when I was always with her. I'm positive she has calmed down though since she's prego and all. I'm really excited for her but I don't think it's the wisest decisions of course. The dad isn't the greatest role model and already has a son by another girl although he is a very nice guy he just isn't what I would consider as someone to have a baby with. Anyways, it's her decision and she can afford it and if she thinks she is ready for it then I will absolutely support her. Just the fact that I feel like I'm tearing Mark away from his friends because we don't get along makes me miss my friends and makes me realize I need them, stupid of me to have forgotten. I think I'll make some cards for them. hahahah be all sentimental and apologetic. It's not all my fault but hey someone has to make the effort and if we are both thinking a long the same lines of it's the others fault that we fell off we aren't going to make things better so I'm willing to swallow my own pride and chalk it up to my own ignorance.