Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Boundaries in relationships

I saw a post on Tumblr today about setting up boundaries in your relationship in order to maintain a healthy relationship. It mentioned boundaries like having your own separate hobbies, keeping your private life separate without having to lie, and trusting your own intuition while keeping your mind open to other opinions. I think these things are really very important for relationships. As mine and Mark's relationship has developed I feel we have both began to neglect our other friends, especially his best friend and people that we use to work with as well as my best friend. Our best friends are so different though because I believe those relationships have just drifted apart because of differences. Each one is in their own relationship wrapped up in their partner. On his side, Dane and Jessie live downtown and constantly go out downtown which is really convenient for them. But for us, we don't like going downtown. It's expensive for drinks, for gas, and for parking. It's inconvenient because we have to drive down there and pay for parking. We don't mind going out down there once in a while but it seems like every time we do drama happens and we go on fucking trekking missions across denver. It would almost be the exact same for them if they were coming down to Aurora though. They would have to drive, but they wouldn't have to pay for parking. There are no possible trekking missions. It's not as nearly as expensive. There's rarely ever drama. For my side, Rachael and I just drifted apart and stopped hanging out and communicating. She started blowing me off, stopped responding to my phone calls and texts, and I did the same. She likes to do different things when she goes out plus we have different groups of friends. Times are harder for maintaining both new and old relationships as the years of age increase. What are some of the best tips of advice to manage both?

1. Keep the lines of communication open. Be clear, concise, and courteous.
2. Offer specific events for chances to get together - holiday mini parties, game nights, double dates for a new restaurant or movie
3. Be open - new things aren't so bad once you give them a try.
4. Be fair - make sure if one weekend it's downtown then the next weekend it's not
5. Be considerate - if you think they'd like it INVITE THEM
6. Stay calm and be mature - if a problem arises try you're best to be adults (only because of alcohol)
7. Don't hold grudges - friendships should not be thrown away so easily
9. Don't forget them - it's easy to put others before them but it shouldn't be happening every time
10. Compromise


  1. I've just started a tumblr blog but sadly only of artwork. Share your thoughts is possible.

  2. yeah tumblr is usually just for pictures. . .it's more of a photoblog.

  3. very true. it's been pretty simple so far.