Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Super Bipolar Monster



So unfortunately, I have been extremely grouchy for several days. . .not just grouchy sorry. . .I've been quite biploar [lol]. I've never really been diagnosed with bipolar and I'm sure that I really don't have it but just am very pissy. . .without my monthly Auntie being here. I actually feel really bad about this because I have been taking shit out on other people that is completely unnecessary. I definitely don't mean anything by it and I'm so incredibly happy that the people who have put up with my attitude are so patient with me. I apologize deeply to them because I know how mean and ridiculous I have been and there's really no reason or explanation or excuse for it. I don't know what the problem is but the littlest, stupidest shit has been really aggravating me and once I get aggravated by one thing everything after it aggravates me even more. I don't know what the deal is but I gotta get out of this mindset somehow. . .I think that working out will help so I definitely need to get my ass back onto a work out plan. Saturday night for example, I was in a "fuck it mood" where it's like a FUCK IT WEEKEND where I don't really care what I do, where I go, who I'm with, etc as long as I'm not being aggravated anymore. I got out of the mood as soon as we went to the bar and got drunk! [side note: I always have an amazing time when we walk to the bar by Mark's apartment and get drunk with Kyle and Tristen.] Then last night my parents were just asking me a lot of questions and then I was telling them a story about a friend of mine and a problem that she was going through and how I wanted to help her out and they kind of made a joke of it. . .just really frustrating but they didn't mean anything by it. Last night I was hostile towards Mark but I was really tired. I had a rough morning because I had to miss one of my classes to call T Mobile and get my damn phone fixed because it got messed up again and then on the ride home from the bus station I had to sit next to these 2 fuckin retards who kept talking about personal and really inappropriate stuff to be talking about on a train. I was really tired when I got home and I was completely unfair to Mark because he was being so generous making us dinner [which was delicious]. Then I yelled at him for eating loud - RIDICULOUS right? lol. I know. [If you're reading this babe seriously I'm sorry]. Today I was bitchy towards my mom, for absolutely no reason. I thought I had gotten out of my antisocial stage but apparently it still comes back from time to time. I'm definitely going to make my attitude better. . .I definitely think that working out will make a huge difference so I'm for sure going to start working out again not only to take out any aggression but also to get my stomach in shape. . .I'm desperate to have a flat stomach again lol. Wish me luck. [=

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