Car update

So the car is still not mine yet. I guess tomorrow the title comes into the local bank and we can go pick it up then. I'm going to test drive the car tonight again. I'm having second thoughts because there was a jerky feeling we got when my parents test drove it it while we turned around and only accelerated very little. That is definitely not something that I would put up with and is absolutely a deal breaker. Not to be a bitch but I dealt with it in my parents car and I'm not going to suffer with it in my car!

I have to stop by the DMV office tomorrow morning and make sure that the car will not have to have a current emission because he registered the car last night and said the car was emission exempt for the last next two years so I have to confirm that. I want all the paperwork ready to go.

Patrick fucking stinks today. What really sucks is just yesterday our owner came in and dropped off airfreshners and I said oh all three are going in Patrick's room but GOD I seriously should have done it because I can smell him out here and I have TWO of the airfreshners near me. EW!

Yesterday went by so fast and it was awesome. I hope the rest of the week maintains the speed.

New Car!!!

I will soon be purchasing a 2003 Mazda 6s. It has a v6 engine, leather heated seats, a 6 cd changer, sunroof, heated mirrors, ETC ETC ETC. It's so nice. It only has around 57k miles too. I'm really really excited and already dying for it to be in my possession so I could be driving it around on this amazingly 75-80 degree weather we are having today however we are waiting on the title and everything else to come through. I think by Wednesday I will have the car. Hopefully by the end of the week I will have it registered and insured and everything good to go! It's a gun metal gray.

It's definitely going to be a much appreciated and VERY WELL TAKEN CARE OF upgrade from my deathbot, however I will definitely miss her. I get attached to things that I am very dependent on in my life, don't even lie you do it too. I'm really hoping that everything turns out as great as I think it's going to. My dad is upset at me cuz he thinks I spent too much then what he thought the car was worth, however I paid the high end value for what the insurance company would give me if the car was totaled on the day that I got it. I think the car is in such pristine condition that I'm not upset that I spent a little more than what I would have liked to. If something goes wrong, which I'm really praying that it won't, then I will definitely eat my words.

So congratulations to me!!! [=

Commitment Phobia

I realize today how very seriously bad my commitment phobia is. I am essentially having mini panic attacks before anything has even happened. My parents were pressuring me to not accept the loan Mark is offering me to buy a car because they do not want to see our relationship ruined because of it. i totally agree and definitely think it's a risk, however we have agreed (as a result of today) to set up a minimum monthly payment, no maximum, and no set date of when all the money has to be paid back by. I am ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED to say "I will be able to pay you back by such and such date" because I am so a "what-if" person, for example, what if I got fired or laid off or was forced to quit my job and am out of work for a certain amount of time? ETC ETC ETC. . .every possible scenario that you can think of I will come up with to say "No, I can not commit to a date." I feel really truly terrible about it, because I want to feel comfortable with being able to commit to stuff like a rent payment, an insurance payment, loan payments ETC ETC ETC. You would seriously think that I am the biggest penny pincher that you've ever met that was NOT RAISED DURING THE GREAT DEPRESSION, no joke. I do not necessarily believe that there's much else that I can do to help this problem of mine. I have been watching my bank account and doing my expense reports pretty religiously and although that has helped I do not really know what else would.

I'm so fucking scared to graduate because I am realizing how much money I'm going to be forking out on my own. After looking at my bank account and talking to my mom today I realized that the offer that Shane has made me at $1,000 a month with 26,000 yr salary does not work out. If he is offering $26k a year then the net income would be approximately $1660 a month. After doing some possible expense reports that I would be looking at with a new car, rent, insurance for both health and car, and more what he has offered salary is not something that I could live off of. Although he has offered a second position with a commission income plus the salary position I WILL NOT RELY ON COMMISSION to ensure that I can pay my bills on a month to month basis. I am still job searching and applying and hopefully I find something that pays at least 15 an hour, however I do plan on talking to Shane again and getting final numbers on what he thinks he can offer me, I will tell him look this is the costs that I am looking at and what your offering I can't afford so unfortunately unless i can get a base salary of at least 30k a yr I can not work for him, because I can't rely on the commission. The commission is something that I would love to just throw all into savings.

I was thinking of putting off buying a new car until I graduated but I think that something that would be good and helpful for myself and this commitment phobia is to take on each new expense one at a time and spaced a little bit apart. Mark and I went car shopping this weekend just to get an idea of what type of cars are out there. Just so you know, because of that cash for clunkers, there is slim pickings! I did find a 2003 Mazda 6 with 92k miles, more than what I wanted, that I fell in love with. There are some issues with it like it needs a new windshield and two new front tires, however the manager who came to talk about it offered to throw those in. It also had an issue with the display screen and a storage compartment which they said they would look into. They offered me 10,3 at the store but I found that exact car online for 8,8 and some other same cars, comparable milage and cheaper. I am going to look at the car Monday with my Dad and probably Mark and maybe a make decision. If we do decide that it's something that I should get than I will offer no more than 8,5 for it with all included. I am planning on starting the offer at 7,5. My insurance on it is going to be quite expensive right off the bat however that's my fault! I have two tickets and now an accident so I have to suffer the consequences of those stupid mistakes. Hopefully I can find an insurance company that will adjust as I demonstrate that I am a good, safe, reliable driver. The next expense that I would take on is to be determined. It depends on what job I take, if it offers health insurance, if I have to move out, etc etc. Step by step, day by day.

A lot of bad stuff has happened to me this year, but in about a month I'm graduating college! I finished on time and actually early compared to the amount of time other students are taking. I'm truly proud of myself and I have a lot of shit ahead but I'm learning not to be afraid of pain and bad luck.

Second Session of the Study

It's going fantastic! We have been having problems with our sign up system but everything has gone pretty smoothly for me. I think only one or two of my participants haven't shown up. After today I should have around 20 or so participants which is awesome! Only forty more to go. I have one whole day where only one participant has signed up so far but once the date gets closer I'm sure more will sign up. I have another session next week with a lot of people signed up so hopefully nothing bad happens and all runs smoothly again and everyone shows up. If I keep this rate up then I won't have to worry about taking another day off of work or having to freak out about not having enough participants.

I'm not feeling well today though. Last night while showering I nearly passed out. I felt like I was going to black out, I was really weak and shaky, I felt really sick to my stomach and dizzy, and I was so white I was practically see through. Today, I've had a pounding headache that started throughout my whole head and has no settled in just the left side of my head. I'm a little concerned because this has never happened but I'm sure it's nothing.

Have a good day! I need a fucking vacation.

Work is a fucking MESS!

Today has been a disaster in the office. Jason, Tag, and I are so fed up with Patrick. We ALL want him FIRED. He is disrespectful, he is lazy, he does not care, he drops the ball on a lot of shit, especially with customers and scheduling and more. He is just not a good team player and we no longer want him apart of the company. Shane, the owner, needs to grow some balls, quit crying about employee loyalty, and fire his ass. We have employees calling off on a day to day basis and yet they're still on the schedule, we have employees that can't get to work on time and they can't call in on time, employees are lying about being on site when they aren't. . .omg it's such a fucking mess. Shane needs to hire his own personal assistant that can be his bitch and do whatever the fuck he wants them to do so that we do not have to run around like chickens with our heads cut off because of his demands. Today, I was asked to go and pick up a guy who dropped of Shane's car to him so that I can bring him back to the office to get his car. Patrick, who could have brought him up to the office because they were in the same area, was apparently not able to do this. My car is not in good shape. Yes it runs and drives and I can get places in it but I DO NOT DRIVE IT ANYMORE THAN I HAVE TO. I have to stare at the street for potholes and bumps. The area he had me driving into - omg the streets are so fucking horrible. When he asked I hesitated and then agreed to doing it but now my right front tire has a big ass nail in it. Surprise, my tire is already going flat! Now, I have to worry about driving home with a semi flat tire on the same side as all the other damage. Fucking fantastic. I'm so happy about that. Anyways I've had enough of that shit today and I told Shane that I can no longer run errands like that because I can't drive my car in certain places because of the damage. He was understanding at least so that was nice.

I'm TIRED! I want to GO HOME! I've committed to writing a midterm paper about a topic that I'm finding is increasingly difficult to write about. It's pathetic too because it only has to be six pages with the references and the cover page included. That means I have four pages of written dialog on how women in the history of psychology and how their contributions have gone overlooked. It seems interesting and would be an awesome fucking paper if I wasn't restricting myself to six to eight pages. I could definitely go way further in depth and cover more women but it just doesn't work out that way.

Someone write my paper for me! lol [=

Research and Fradulent Data

We watched a video today in my research class that discussed the problem of fraudulent data in research and it was flooring. There was a huge flurry, what scientists argued only few, discoveries of data that had been "cooked" or "trimmed" or faked in a way that seriously harmed the medical and scientific research fields. I was really surprised to see how common an issue this was, especially when my teacher gave us updated facts. She told us that only a small percentage of people would admit to questionable researching but when those peoples coworkers were questioned a HUGE percent of people would say that the person's methods were questionable! It's easy for them to cover up their own mistakes but they sure as hell are at the jump to calling the kettle black.


The most surprising piece of evidence for this whole idea of research scamming was that all the research that was done on the autism being linked to vaccinations have ALL been PULLED! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAD MISTAKES AND ERRORS!!! Just to think how many people would say that they wouldn't get their child a vaccination because of the link to autism and now those links have been destroyed. . .can you even imagine how many children actually got sick because they did not receive the vaccination?!!


With the facts that my teacher gave us, falsifying data and having questionable research practices seems to be a common thing, even today. People are so fueled by their pressure to be successful, to see the results that they want to see, to find the results that the grant lenders want to see, to be productive enough so they can reach tenure at a school, to get grant money in the first place, ETC ETC ETC that they have to bring themselves to these desperate measures.

Moral of the story: BE AN INFORMED CONSUMER! If you want to try a new medicine or whatever then learn how to read the research that is provided on it and read the reviews and know that you could likely become a victim of research fraud!

Out with the old, in with the nothing? Plus my ramblings on internet addiction.

I've recently become really aggravated with people lately. So, I'm just blogging that I'm going to be doing some dumping out of the old. As of right now, I don't plan on bringing anyone new in. I just don't care for it.

I'm deleting my Facebook today. I would delete my myspace however, I've heard you have to jump through all these hoops to be able to do so and the fact that I never get on that bitch anyways would make it a waste of time. I'm just going to go through and delete all that shit that's on there. Pictures and all, of course after saving them.

The fact that I just want to be done with it is not the only reason. I'm disgusted with how addicted people are to the internet and social networks. First of all, you know damn well the only reason why you ask people to be your friend on those things is so that you can nose into their lives and know what they have been doing and where they are in life. Also, it's so you can compare where are you to where they are. Oh, so yeah, high school never ended huh? By the way, I don't need to know what the fuck you are doing in every minute of your life. I can't even comprehend the fact that a girl I know today was updating her status as she was getting an epidermal shot to induce her labor today. Are you that fucking addicted that you cannot take the time to leave your Facebook alone will you have your baby? How fucking pathetic. I'm also disappointed with the fact that people are so used to communicating on the internet that they no longer know how to properly communicate offline.

Anyways, I'm going to get on doing some more homework for the evening. Bye.